By myself but not Alone
by dbzfreak2
Summary: AU SQUINOA. After the death of her mother Rinoa is sent to go live with her father who is staying at Balamb Garden investigating the attempted assassination of Vincent Deling, there she meets a group of people she is sure to never forget.
1. Follow the God that Failed

**By myself but not Alone **

**Follow the God that failed**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

This fic starts off a couple of months after the game. Rinoa wasn't there, instead her mother lived but she's now dead. Rinoa's gone to go stay with her father at Balamb Garden who is investigating the attempted assassination on President Vincent Deling's life. The assassination that also killed Rinoa's mother and left Rinoa all alone.

Rinoa Heartilly approaches the building apprehensively, she's somewhat nervous about this. Its not the fact that the building itself is intimidating, or the fact that there's a group of blood soaked people coming in her general direction… its just that today's the big day. Today's the day she meets her father for the first time in her entire life.

While Rinoa was inside her mother's stomach her father had abandoned her. Her mother had always said that he couldn't face up the responsibility of being a father. For some reason Rinoa saw that as a cover up. The man was a general, all they do is follow up on there responsibilities.

As she thought of her mother tears began to well up in her eyes. Her mother was the reason she was here, well her lack of mother we shall say. She'd been killed by a mercenary sent to assassinate President Vincent Deling. Her mother had been the presidents sectary, which was strange, she'd always strongly apposed war of any kind and here she was getting pregnant to a general and working for one of the more blood thirsty beings in the history of the planet.

The thoughts were pushed out of her mind as the bloody people began to get quite close. They didn't look terribly dangerous; in fact they looked like teenagers. Rinoa assumed that they were students at Balamb Garden, her destination.

Her father had been sent to personally see to the Garden after the assassination attempt. It was obvious that one of the Gardens was responsible, but to attack all three Gardens was to provoke a war on Galbadia that Vincent Deling would surely loose.

"Excuse me, are you lost?"

Rinoa turned to see a brunette standing behind her that radiated. Even if her clothes were ripped, her hair was a mess and blood had stained various parts of her canary yellow mini dress.

Rinoa stared at the girl for a second, she was quite petite, and not exactly what she'd expected to be in one of the Gardens. Other than her dress she wore a pair of brown boots that came just under her knee. She had shimmering green eyes that were her main feature. Her brown hair flipped out at the bottoms and she had a fringe that nearly covered her eyes.

"Yeah, a little." Rinoa replied.

The girl grinned, she was kinda startling. She looked as though her appearance at this present time wasn't bothering her.

"Don't worry, I'll show you where ever you need to go. I remember when I first came her I was sooooo scared!" the girl continued.

She grabbed Rinoa's elbow and started leading her inside the large gates of Balamb Garden.

"By the way, my names Selphie." She said as she continued pulling Rinoa along.

"Rinoa."

Selphie seemed somewhat shocked at the statement, but she didn't show it for long. She quietened down after that.

"So I spose you're looking for the general…" Selphie trailed off.

Rinoa nodded her head and wondered what was wrong with Selphie now.

After awhile of thinking it dawned on Rinoa why Selphie seemed a little disturbed by this new information. Rinoa was the daughter of the guy that was trying to prove that Balamb was responsible for the near death of the dictator of Galbadia. That made Rinoa a spy.

Rinoa sighed; this wasn't going to be the most comfortable place she'd ever stayed. Little did she know that she was going to find herself right at home.

Rinoa waved at Selphie as she entered the elevator up to the top floor.

She took the moment in the elevator as a chance to regroup her thoughts. She was both confused and scared. Her father had had nothing to do with her since her birth yet as soon as her mother had died he had offered to take her without question. But upon her arrival no one had been there to pick her up from the train station, no one had met her at the gate outside Garden and it appeared as though Selphie had no idea whether he was actually here or not.

The soft sounding music calmed her a little. If it not for the abrupt stop on the second floor. She was startled out of her trance to the doors opening and a devishly attractive man entering. Not that she was staring or anything.

"You going up?" Rinoa asked as he entered.

He nodded his head, not bothering to look at her.

Rinoa took it in her stride, thinking that maybe he was shy or something, never thinking he was the ignorant person that he'd turn out to be.

The doors began to close slowly and Rinoa couldn't help but glance over at the man standing beside her. He was beautiful, in a masculine way of course!

He had a deep scar running between his blue/grey eyes, it made him look slightly dangerous and Rinoa found herself thinking about what a tragedy it really was. It took some of the attention away from his eyes, they were striking, and she found herself longing for him to stare at her.

"SQUALL!"

The boy beside her winced, she could see him visibly shudder for a second then reluctantly hold the door open.

A blonde haired boy ran inside the doors. He smiled apologetically at Rinoa who waved the mere hold up off. It really didn't bother her to not see her father for another couple of seconds.

He turned to face the other boy in the elevator and Rinoa had to hold herself back from gasping. He had a black tattoo that swirled down the left side of his face. She hadn't noticed it when he first entered but now it was clear as day.

"Squall, Quistis is looking for you and she is not happy!" the blonde boy panted.

The other boy, obviously called Squall, nodded his head once again.

"You don't understand, man! She is really pissed at you this time." The boy stated.

The doors closed behind him and Rinoa tried to ignore the conversation. It wasn't in her nature to pry into other people's business.

"Quistis is going to have to understand the need for budgetary cuts. Field trips and things of that nature are expensive and unfortunately we hold liability if one of our students should be injured in any way." Squall said in a robot sounding voice.

Zell rolled his eyes and turned to face the doors. As he did so they opened and Rinoa exited the elevator quickly.

Rinoa felt relief wash over her as she walked towards the wooden double doors that led to the principal's office. This was it, the moment she'd waited her entire life for. She was finally going to have a father…

"Excuse me, Miss?"

Rinoa turned to see a sectary sitting behind a desk staring at her expectantly.

"Uhhh, yeah?" Rinoa replied, unsure about proper protocol in this place.

After hearing that Squall guy talking Rinoa got the distinct impression that her type of language wasn't going to be accepted.

"Do you have an appointment?" the woman asked.

"No but I'm General Caraway's daughter… I'm looking for my father." Rinoa answered.

"Oh Miss Caraway, I'm sorry but your father isn't in there. But go right ahead, I'm sure the Principal will be more than happy to set you in the right direction."

"Heartilly." Rinoa cut in.

"Sorry?"

"My last name, its not Caraway, its Heartilly."

After Rinoa had finished talking to the receptionist she opened the doors to reveal and very formal looking room. There was a middle-aged man sitting behind a wooden desk with a large window behind him. It had a view of the entire Garden, then the plains finally ending at the ocean that met Balamb borders.

Talking to him was Squall from the elevator.

She knocked lightly on the door as she opened it wider earning Squall and the principal's attention.

"I'm sorry… Sir… but I'm just looking for General Caraway…" Rinoa trailed off.

She felt so out of place. Everything in this place was so formal, she felt fine when she was in the main lobby but now everything had turned military styles. Rinoa had nearly forgotten that this place was used to train highly skilled killing machines.

"Ah, Rinoa Heartilly. I've been looking forward to when you got here. I'd like to introduce you to Squall, he's Balamb Gardens commander, second in command under me."

Rinoa was slightly shocked by this new revelation, he didn't look any older than 18!

She didn't understand how anyone could get such a high rank at such a young age, and how was it that the other students would respect someone so young! Wouldn't they just walk all over him?

"Hello." Rinoa said politely.

"I'm just in the middle of something at the moment, make yourself at home and I'll be with your shortly."

Squall turned from Rinoa back to the Principal. He had a stern look on his face and had obviously been complaining about something before Rinoa came in.

Not letting Rinoa's presence stop him, he continued.

"How can I be expected to train future SeeD's when I'm not allowed admittance into the training centre?" Squall barked.

Rinoa watched the Principal flinch, for some reason Rinoa didn't really think that he was in charge most of the time.

"I'm sorry Squall but there were investigations in there today. Beside's you haven't trained any students in there to date. In fact I was unaware that your duties even involved training anyone."

Squall falter for less than a second. He was back on his toes immediately and sending out another assault.

"I already have teachers hounding me about the cuts I've had to make. Ever since Norg stopped funding us the Garden has gone broke. We need to take on more missions otherwise Garden is going to go bankrupt."

"Squall you know as well as I do that that is impossible. Especially with special assignments such as the ones we have been getting recently. Garden will be fine, it always is."

"Be that as it may I believe that without another form of financial funding sooner or later Garden will be no more." Squall concluded.

The principal pondered the thought for awhile, he swirled his chair away from Squall and out towards the view that accompanied his office. The principal stood and walked towards the glass, staring distantly out over the courtyard.

"Off the record," the principal began, "what is your reason for being so passionate about this Squall?"

For the second time today Rinoa saw Squall hesitate before answering. He glanced over his shoulder at Rinoa, who pretended to be too enthralled with a painting on the wall to pay any attention to the conversation taking place.

"… Because I know what its like to have nowhere else to go, Sir." Squall whispered.

Rinoa strained her ears as much as she could but resigned herself to the fact that she wasn't going to hear whatever Squall had said. She sighed and actually began to take note of her surroundings.

Principal Cid nodded and with a wave of his hand signalled for Squall to take a seat.

"Rinoa, please come here." Cid said enthusiastically.

Rinoa stood and slowly made her way towards the polished desk.

She tugged at her nave blue velvet miniskirt as she did so. She glanced down at her attire, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

She wore a light blue cord coat with no sleeves that was done up at the front with one tie in front of her bosom. A black body suit under that which also had no sleeves and ended about mid thigh. Over that was her velvet mini skirt with several buttons going up the front. She had separate sleeves that came from her wrists to her elbows and was the same corded material and colour as her coat. On her feet she had a pair of black combat boots and a black tie was around her upper left arm.

As per usual she'd left her hair out, not feeling comfortable with it down.

Cid smiled warmly at her and it put Rinoa at ease a little, she still felt as though she had a certain person that she had to be around these people.

"Rinoa, while you're here I would like you to feel as comfortable as possible. You father wont be here for another week, there was a mix up with the time your were given to come here. General Caraway will be notified that you are already here and I will make sure that you are given a living quarters immediately."

"But I thought I heard you say that there were an investigation in some centre… isn't Caraway doing the investigations?" Rinoa asked softly.

"Well your half right, the General is just overseeing the investigation. His part isn't that crucial but nonetheless he has to be here. Hence why he chose to come a couple of weeks after the investigation had started."

Rinoa still didn't really understand but all she was getting out of this conversation was more questions, she opted to just stick to less confusing topics.

"So, where will I be staying?"

Cid looked quite pleased with the question, he looked as though he was the sort of man who usually had the answers and she was asking questions to which it was anyone's guess what the answers were.

"Well I will get Squall to see to that personally. It will more than likely be on the second floor with all the other VIP living quarters."

Rinoa nodded in response, no longer wishing to ask questions of this nature. She just wanted to sleep. She'd had a very traumatic week and all she wanted was a good night's sleep.

'Keep a stiff upper lip.' The words kept ringing through her head. It was something her mother had always told her when she was upset. She wasn't going to let these strangers see her cry, which was why she wanted to get to her room and quickly.

"Well I suppose you're exhausted from your trip. I'll get Squall to get your room now."

**RINOA'S POV.**

I glanced over at my companion, he seems nice enough, well actually that's a lie. He looks as though my presence is more than a little burden.

As much as I try to make conversation he just keeps ignoring me.

"So do you like it here?" I ask, hopeful that I'll get more than a one word sentence from him.

"It's a very respectable establishment."

Ok can you say ROBOT? Something something something Mr Roboto!

I giggle slightly, the song ringing through my head; Squall gives me an awkward look but doesn't say anything.

I choose to ignore it, not wanting to cause friction between the COMMANDER. That concept baffles me.

"So how is it that you became commander at such a young age?" I ask still holding onto hope.

"I was thrust into this position; I didn't have much of a choice in the matter." Squall replies.

As he says this I can see the girl from earlier running towards us. What was her name again? Sarah… Nancy… no it definitely wasn't Nancy.

"Squall!" she squeals enthusiastically.

Squall seems to shudder slightly, but his demeanour softens slightly.

'_Maybe that's his girlfriend…'_

"Yes Selphie?" he says impatiently.

"Well…" Selphie begins biting her nails and staring at Squall with the best puppy dog eyes I've ever seen in my long existence. "Y'know how the concerts tonight…"

"Don't expect me to preform!" Squall exclaims before Selphie can finish.

Selphie rolls her eyes and crosses her arms; she lets out an annoyed sigh.

"No dummy1 I already have all the performers that are needed. I was just wondering, seeing as everyone looks up to you and stuff if you could make a speech or something."

"No." Squall replies bluntly.

"Ow but Squally! C'mon! It won't kill you and I'll put in a good word with Quistis for you!"

Selphie begins a rant that is so fast I find it hard to keep up with what she's actually saying. Squall seems to be staring at her with the same blank expression he's had for the entire duration of our walk. I can tell he isn't really listening.

"Fine, but only a short speech. I'll do it at the start before everyone's drunk."

"Alcohol… ow Squall you know we're more responsible than that…" Selphie says cheekily.

Squall rolls his eyes and pushes her aside as he begins walking again. He signals for me to follow, which I might add I think is really rude.

"Oh, hey Rinny." Selphie exclaims.

I'm kinda taken aback by her sudden nickname for me. I've known her for little more than ten minutes!

"Hi Selphie." I reply.

I'm kinda glad that my presence was even acknowledged.

"Selphie I would be eternally grateful if you would cut this conversation short. I have a duty to preform and unfortunately about a million after that." Squall cuts in, he seems kinda pissed off.

"Oh shut up Squall!" Selphie snarls.

"Unless you want the disciplinary committee to be notified of your blatant disrespect for Garden faculty I would advise you don't say that again!"

Selphie glares at Squall; I didn't think that someone so sweet could produce such an earth shattering glare.

"And if you don't want people to know about your little 'vision' then I suggest you SHUT UP!"

Squall finally shows me to my room, its quite fancy but nothing really that special. I'm used to better I should say.

"Thanks." I say as Squall slams the door.

'_What a freak…' _

I can see my bed through an open door to the left and I'm standing in what looks like the lounge. Connected to it's the kitchen and a bathroom can be seen on the other side of the room.

'_Wow… this is complicated…' _I think sarcastically.

If this is the good rooms I dread to think what everyone else has to sleep in.

I can see my stuff has been delivered here already, I was actually quite curious as to what happened to that.

Finally having enough of this depressing room I decide to give myself a tour of Garden.

**NORMAL POV.**

The blonde haired woman walked with purpose towards her destination. Her destination being the tall, dark haired man at the end of the corridor. He's got some girl with him, but soon she's showed into a room and he leaves her side.

All that can be heard in the hallway is the clinking of her boots and the mindless chatter of students.

Her reflection in the spotless windows beside her shows a beautiful woman. One that demands respect by her very aura.

She wore a peach colours sleeveless zip up shirt that was open at the bottom to reveal her toned stomach. A skirt of the same colour that went just below her knees. Around her hips she had various belts, one large brown one with a silver buckle that sloped down, another brown one around her waist with two chains hanging off it, they were at either side of her body and curved down at exactly the same length. She had black boots on that were impossible to tell how high they went up due to the fact that her skirt covered that. She had separate sleeves that were a dark crimson colour that started at her shoulder and went down to her wrists, covering her hands were a pair of black leather gloves.

Her blonde hair was done up at the back with two large bangs framing around her face.

She had a pair of the iciest blue eyes known to man, ones that seemed to dare people to fuck with her.

"Leonhart!" she screamed.

The boy in question turned to face her; he folded his arms over his chest and held his chin up high. Readying himself for a verbal assault.

"How dare you!" she snarled.

Her name was Quistis Trepe, one of the more formidable foes at Garden.

"Listen Quistis I know that your upset…"

"No Squall, you ave no idea! There are about a million other budgets that could've been cut but you insisted on cutting field trips! I don't think you understand the importance of our students to venture into the outside world! Do not think that this is going to happen Squall Leonhart, I'll die first!" Quistis screamed.

She'd earnt them both the attention of most of the students and SeeD's.

"Quistis, your making a scene." Squall whispered.

"Well I think a scene needs to be made Squall!"

"NO MATTER WHAT WE CUT SOMEONE'S BOUND TO BE UPSET!" Squall yelled, finally loosing his cool.

"WELL CUT SOMETHING THAT WE DON'T NEED!"

"MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CUT YOU!" Squall exclaimed.

"Is that a threat Leonhart, because I **will** kick your ass!" Quistis snarled.

Squall took a deep breath and shut his eyes. He began massaging his temple and he lifted his head up to the ceiling.

"No Quistis, I'm sorry."

"Squall, how can you justify cutting anything when your funding a concert tonight?" Quistis sighed.

Squall mulled over this for awhile, choosing his words very carefully. He knew that Quistis was smarter than he was and this argument wasn't going to be won by him. But he was a skilled negotiator, and he knew that negotiations weren't Quistis's forte.

"Alright Quistis, I'll budge. You can have your field trips, but they must be ok'd by me, and if they aren't and you choose to go anyway your own salary will be the one to pay the price."

"Done."

Rinoa walked solemnly around the crowded halls of Garden. Her mind wasn't on the tour at hand, more on her current situation. Her emotions seemed to be held left a crumbled mess that she could piece back together. Her main thought, the missing part in her life. The part that had been perfect before and in one instant smashed across her feet. No words could consol her but she refused to cry. Crying wouldn't help anything, not that she believed that. Her main reason for not crying was that she wanted to focus on the life she had ahead of her. One that mainly consisted at this present time in Garden.

She saw many different people on her tour. They all seemed to hang out together whatever there personalities may be. In the infirmary she found a Dr, who addressed herself as Dr Kadowaki. She informed Rinoa that should she be suffering in any way that she was the one to talk to. After that she found the Quad. Or whatever the hell it was called. In there she found Selphie again, apparently working on a concert, something she'd been hearing about repeatability since she'd got here.

"Rinny!" Selphie exclaimed as Rinoa approached.

"Hi Selphie." Rinoa replied.

She stared in awe at the natural beauty of the Quad. She didn't see many students in here and was quite surprised about that. This place was so peaceful; she thought she'd spend a lot of time here.

"What are you doing here?" Selphie asked as she walked towards Rinoa.

She began wiping her hands on the bottom of her dress, leaving a stain.

'_How many yellow dresses does this girl own… ?' _

"I was just taking a look around. Whats going on here?" Rinoa asked.

Selphie glanced behind her shoulder and a look of pride covered her features. She seemed to beam at her work for a second before turning back to Rinoa.

"This is where the concerts going to be held. It's a celebration to commemorate a high priority mission that was completed a couple of days ago. We always put something on when something important happens. Principal Cid has no problem with us partying because he says that we'll all go insane if our lives revolve around death…" Selphie trailed off at the end.

Rinoa was taken aback by how blunt Selphie was about it. And she seemed to be so optimistic the entire time she was saying her speech.

"That's… nice." Rinoa replied, unsure about how she was supposed to answer.

"Yeah…" there was an odd silence for a couple of seconds, but it was interrupted without fail, by Selphie. "You wanna meet my boyfriend?"

Rinoa rose her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure."

"Wicked, he'll be down here soon."

Selphie turned and went back to her work; Rinoa decided that the polite thing would be to help her.

"So can I help?" Rinoa enquired as she walked behind Selphie.

"Uhhh… there really isn't that much more to do, we had a lot of help earlier on in the project."

Rinoa nodded and took a seat on a barrel that lay flat on the ground.

Seconds later she saw a tall young man approaching Selphie. He was an interesting looking fellow but he oozed sex appeal. Rinoa even found herself nearly falling under his trance.

He wore a black leather cowboy hat with his hair tied in a pony tail out the back. A pair of tan chaps on his legs with black boots. A blue vest looking shirt and a tan fur lined coat over top. His hands were covered in black leather fingerless cloves and he had an Indian looking necklace around his neck.

He wrapped his long around Selphie's slim waist and started whispering in her ear.

"Y'know Selph, you're a rose and I'm a little thorny."

Selphie giggled but pushed him away.

"Irvy! We've got company!" Selphie exclaimed.

He glanced over at Rinoa, and then did a double take.

"My lady." Irvine said as he walked towards her.

"Hello." Rinoa said with a smile.

He shook her hand but lingered there for more than Rinoa would've considered polite.

"Irvine! Control yourself!" Selphie snapped.

Rinoa stood and politely excused herself; she felt that she'd lingered in the Quad for too long.

As she exited the long corridor that led out to the rest of Garden, she thought she heard a familiar voice. She searched through the masses of students, hoping that her instincts were right. He was here. She knew that he went to one of the Gardens and had prayed that it had been this one.

'_Please be you!'_

She spotted his trade mark whisked back blonde hair and knew. She knew in her heart that it was him.

"Seifer?" she said quietly from behind him.

He spun around, seeming somewhat annoyed that someone would bother him at all. His face turned to that of shock when he saw her. Then his features softened considerably.

"Rinoa…"

Ow. Don't worry; this is a traditional Squall Rinoa thing. Seifer's got his own business going on. Squall's still an asshole, but considerably not as bad as he was. It's just that without Rinoa's presence during the game kept him kinda the same way he was. And I think he's cool when he's a prick.

Read and Review.

P.s. this is a quite a long chapter for me…


	2. I'm on the outide

**By myself but not Alone **

**I'm on the outside.**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8, and that goes for my last chapter too. (I forgot…)

Cheers to the people who reviewed my story.

Squall's eyes shot open and he sat up with a scream at the back of his throat. Sweat poured down his skin and he was panting like crazy.

He shook his head and started rubbing his left eye. Squall let his hand drop down beside him and he glanced idly over at his clock.

His eyes opened wide and he jumped out of bed, carrying half his blankets with him. He ran towards his bathroom, picking up random pieces of his SeeD uniform off the floor as he went.

Minutes later he emerged from the bathroom with his SeeD uniform faultless while running a wet hand through his shaggy hair. He took a quick look at himself in the mirror, silently cursing himself for being so vain. He couldn't help it, he just felt like looking presentably tonight. It was a strange concept for him for usually his main thoughts were on matters more important than how he looked.

He rubbed one last piece of sleep out of his eyes and made his way towards the door. Playing with the cuffs of his sleeve.

'_Oh fuck!' _he thought before he opened his door, _'I've gotta make a speech!'_

Rinoa looked at herself in the mirror, examining every part of her. She sucked in her stomach a bit and bit her bottom lip. Then her eyes moved south and her mouth opened wide at what she saw.

'_My ass looks hell fat in this…' _

She wore an ivory white halter neck type dress with a lace overskirt. It went down to about her mid thigh and although she thought it might be a bit risky she wasn't going to let there 'dress code' stop her from wearing what she wanting. Not that she thought this would seem radical, from today she'd seen people wearing much less.

She slipped her feet in a pair of strappy heels and sighed. Realizing that no matter how much she bitched about it, her ass wasn't going to get any smaller.

She twisted the door knob and found a very anxious looking SeeD standing outside her door.

"Your Rinoa…" he said as he glanced down at the name written down on his hand, "right?"

"Yeah." Rinoa replied.

"I was told that I had to accompany you to tonight's concert just incase you got lost." The boy stated.

Rinoa smiled at him, he was the guy from the elevator, the one with the tattoo. He was wearing the gold trimmed SeeD uniform like many of the people there were probably wearing.

"I thought this was a concert?" Rinoa asked as she started walking down the hallway.

"It is." The boy replied.

"Well why are you wearing your uniform?" Rinoa enquired.

He shrugged his shoulders; he scuffed his feet for a bit. Momentarily thinking about how uncomfortable the boots he wore were.

"We wear them for the first half of the night. Something about formalities at the start, then if we choose we can go to our dorms and change. Most of the time everyone just stays in their uniform though." He explained.

"Why don't you guys get changed?" Rinoa asked.

"Most of the time everyone's having a good time and doesn't bother." He concluded.

"By the way, whats your name?" Rinoa enquired, forgetting to ask before.

"Zell Dincht." He said it like the name should ring a bell, and it did for a couple of seconds.

It sounded so familiar but she couldn't place where she'd heard it. She thought hard about it but nowhere in her mind could she uncover where she knew this boy from.

"How do I know you?" Rinoa asked, finally giving up on remembering.

"Just a very public mission… but I suspected you would've heard about us… I mean me… cause your mum had stuff to do with that Galbadia guy." Zell stuttered out.

Soon they found themselves outside the Quad. Rinoa could already hear the music coming from inside and there was quite a lot of noise echoing through the deserted corridors of Garden.

Rinoa looked at Zell for a second and he smiled back reassuringly, feeling her discomfort.

They made there way inside and Rinoa was soon in awe of what Selphie had created.

The lights flashed in the darkness against the dancers in the middle, it was nothing like she'd expected. It was even more of a shock after Zell's talk about formalities and whatnot.

"Whoa!" Rinoa exclaimed.

Zell lightly grabbed her elbow and led her towards a group of people standing beside a wall. Rinoa immediately recognized Selphie and Irvine. Selphie stood in her SeeD uniform, as did most of the other people there, Irvine didn't wear one though.

She had her back to Irvine while he rested his head on her shoulder, encircling her in his long arms.

"Rinny, whadda ya think?" Selphie enquired holding up her glass to emphasize the fact that she was talking about the Quad.

"Its amazing Selphie!" Rinoa gasped.

"I see you two already know each other." Zell said as he gave Irvine a nod.

Rinoa spotted the nod and thought about it for awhile. It wasn't exactly the most interesting thing to think about but it kept her mind off the turmoil her life was in the moment.

'_Why cant guys just say hi like normal people?' _

"Well Rinoa, this is Quistis..." Zell stated pointing at one of the more stunning women Rinoa had seen in her short existence.

"Hi." Rinoa waved.

The girl smiled back and went back to her conversation with some dark haired girl.

"The girl she's talking to is Xu…"

Rinoa was met with the same response as Quistis had given her.

"This is Squall, but I think you two are already acquainted."

Rinoa received a lingering glance from Squall, she smiled at him and he turned away.

She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and turned to see her muse staring down at her. she couldn't help but go all dopey eyed.

"And my name is Seifer."

"I do believe we've met." Rinoa breathed.

"Care to dance?" Seifer enquired, not taking his eyes away from Rinoa for a second.

"I'd love to…"

"Oh my god, this isn't happening!" Quistis exclaimed.

Quistis stood from her previously sitting position and stared at the leaving couple.

"Squall, do something!" Quistis yelled.

"What the hell do you want me to do about it?" Squall replied.

"The general's daughter is dancing with SEIFER ALMASY! It's your duty as commander to do something." Quistis retorted.

"Fine, fine, fine." Squall sighed.

"That's the spirit Squally! Go get 'em" Selphie called after him.

Squall made his way towards the stage, taking short looks at Rinoa and Seifer as he did so. Making sure all hands were in the right places and whatnot. Not that he'd know, its not like he danced or anything but he knew what was proper conduct and what wasn't.

His stares became more and more persistent as he got closer to the stage, at one point he nearly bumped into a couple dancing. He couldn't help it; he just felt an urge to stare at them… at her.

He felt as though he'd seen her somewhere before, that somehow in his past he knew her. He couldn't deny that she was beautiful and felt that anyone like her would probably leave a lasting impression. Not feeling like dwelling on these thoughts any longer he made his way up the stairs that led to the stage.

The music died down and he stood, quite nervously, in front of nearly every familiar face he knew, and quite a few faces he didn't know.

"Shhhh! It's Squall!" he heard someone yell out above the noise.

He tapped the microphone and in true Squall luck it let out an ear piercing sound that sounding like someone was driving nails through your ear drums.

"Heh, now that I've got your attention." Squall said uncomfortably. "I'd like to thank you all for showing up tonight. Uhhh… ummm… and a special thanks to Selphie Tilmitt and her team for making tonight possibly. I don't think that I should have to remind you about…" _'God damn whats the word!' _"Proper conduct. You represent the Garden so don't let outsiders get a misrepresentation of what this place is like. And have an enjoyable night." With that Squall left the stage quickly.

He'd stared at the back wall the entire time, knowing that this speech wasn't as awe-inspiring as his usual speeches. What more do they expect though. He heard applause start to rumble the Quad and sighed in relief, it can't have sounded as bad to them as it did in his head.

"Good one Squall." Irvine chuckled.

"Shut up Irvine!" Squall snapped as he down his glass of wine.

He screwed up his face at the foul tasting mixture; he'd always been more of a bourbon fan.

"Where's all the alcohol Selphie." Squall growled, finally having enough of the alcohol that Garden had supplied.

"Alcohol… I don't know what you're talking about Squall." Selphie replied innocently.

"Cut the crap Selphie. That cadet over there is holding a beer can; I don't believe that Garden supplied beer." Squall retorted.

Selphie rolled her eyes and lifted up the white cloth that was cloaked over the table, revealing an assortment of alcohols, something for everyone.

Squall had no doubt in his mind that Selphie wasn't the only one who was supplying tonight. It was well known that every second table usually had something under it.

Squall grabbed a bottle of Jim Beam and raised it to Selphie. Finally taking his leave of the group he took his bottle and went out to the balcony. Deciding that drinking alone tonight would be more fun than staying in there.

He didn't really want to get drunk, not since last time. Alcohol brought out a different person in Squall, not the usual detached Squall that everyone was used to. Which is why people tried to make him drink as often as possible.

It seemed as though drinking was something that he was doing more and more nowadays. It could've been because most of his… associates had turned into quite the alcoholics. It could've been because of his stressful job. But Squall had his own theory on it. It was because if he was drunk he didn't have to remember. He didn't have to think about all he'd done with his life, he didn't have to worry about the state of the world; he didn't even care about the state of himself if he'd been drinking.

'_Bottoms up…' _

**Two hours and fifty six minutes later…**

Rinoa didn't realize that tonight was going to be so much fun. She now understood what Zell had meant when he had told her that everyone was usually having too much fun to get change. More like everyone was too drunk to bother getting changed. One thing about these mercenaries… they can really drink.

"C'mon pretty lady, have a seat." Irvine said to Selphie before nearly falling off his own.

Selphie took the hat off Irvine's head and placed it on her own. She made her fingers to replica a gun and pointed them at Irvine.

"Them's dancing words!" Selphie said as she grabbed Irvine by the hand and led him towards the dance floor.

Rinoa laughed at them on the dance floor, it appeared that Irvine was more of a dirty dancer. And Selphie was more of a hop around and mosh with other dancers.

"Aren't they just the cutest couple… I want them to be so happy." Quistis slurred.

She was leaned up against Zell who was playing with her long blonde hair.

"Yeah," a voice said from behind them.

They all turned to see a wide eyed Squall behind them. Holding up his empty bottle of Jim Beam with a triumphant look on his face. He looked as though he'd concurred the world.

"Squall!" Zell cheered.

Quistis clapped her hands while Rinoa just went back to staring at Selphie and Irvine. Not realizing what a momentous occasion this was.

"No one came out to drink with me! So I drank by myself, then some chick came out and she was all like 'Yo there, do you wanna go to the secret area?' and I was like 'what the fuck!'" Squall rambled.

Rinoa was shocked at the interested looks on Zell and Quistis's faces. Like whatever this guy had to say was the most important thing in the world.

"So I thought 'HEY!' I'll go drink with my buddies!"

"You sound a bit pissed, bro." Zell stated.

"A bit? A BIT! I'm fucked Zell." Squall said as he sat down on the seat, smacking the table with his hand to emphasize his point.

"Maybe you should slow down a bit Squall." Quistis suggested, her big sister habits coming into play.

**RINOA'S POV**

Oh my god, this guy is a bit fucked. He seems like a completely different person, I might have to ask Selphie about it in the morning… mid afternoon maybe.

I don't know, how do SeeD's handle hangovers? Do SeeD's get hangovers?

Selphie's coming over; I know this not because I'm psychic but because I can hear her voice echoing over the Quad.

"Squall, y'know I never did congratulate you on your speech. It was deliciouso!" Selphie chirped as she sat down on one of the remaining seats.

I notice that Squall merely nodded, he's not quite as exuberant as he was before. I soon realize why.

**Normal POV**

Rinoa felt gloved hands on her shoulders; she twisted her head and looked up to see Seifer. Choosing to act as cool as she could she just smiled and went back to talking to whoever she'd been talking to previously. But all conversation that may have been before had stopped.

"What do you want?" Selphie enquired, stretching out the 'you' melodramatically.

Seifer tsked at her, like her comment meant nothing and stared at Squall for a couple of seconds.

Squall stared back, obviously not going to back down to this stare-athon.

"Evening Squall." Seifer said calmly.

Squall nodded and his eyes lingered down to where Seifer's hands were. Rinoa thought she understood what Seifer's gesture meant; he was marking his territory in some sort of way.

Rinoa was shocked at how quickly the teenagers could turn serious. It was like no matter what state they were in they were always on edge.

'_The life of a SeeD…' _Rinoa thought, suddenly feeling very fortunate to just be a civilian.

Rinoa suddenly felt really out of place, Selphie was staring at her with her mouth slightly open, her eyes trying to tell Rinoa something that Rinoa just couldn't pick up.

Quistis had her eyes narrowed at Seifer, glaring at him with one of the more bone shattering glares Rinoa had seen in her existence.

Zell shared the same glare at Quistis, but his seemed to be rooted down deeper. Like he was suppressing something.

Irvine wasn't staring at anyone; he just gazed uncomfortably at the ground.

What got Rinoa was the calm look on Squall's face, he had this whole 'I don't care that you're here even though everyone else does' and Rinoa could tell that this annoyed Seifer to know end.

'_I guess Squall gets some sort of sick satisfaction from pissing everyone off.' _Rinoa thought as she gawked at Squall.

Finally feeling as though her presence was no longer wanted, for about the fifth time today, Rinoa stood.

"Well, I better go." Rinoa said politely.

"I'll walk you." Seifer suggested.

"No, I'll be fine." Rinoa replied quickly, not wanting to upset the few people that she'd actually met.

"Well I better go as well." Quistis said as she looked down at the watch on her wrist that wasn't there.

"Uhhh… yeah me to cause ummm… nah fuck it, I'm off." Selphie laughed.

She bent down and gave Irvine a sloppy kiss that made nearly everyone cringe, and then linked arms with both Quistis and Rinoa. They then made there way out of the Quad.

Seifer watched them go before turning back to the group of boys with a smirk on his face.

"I see you boys wasted no time in getting in the good books of Rinoa." Seifer said nonchalantly.

"What about you, Mr Touchy-Feely!" Zell exclaimed.

Seifer smirked and made a clicking sound with his mouth. He picked a bit of dirt out from underneath his nails and turned back to the men with a smile on his face this time.

"Don't worry ladies; I have no plans of getting into Miss Heartilly's panties."

And with that he turned and left, joining his "posse" once again.

"I'm warning you now Rinoa, I wouldn't advise getting involved with Seifer." Quistis said as they made there way towards the dormitories.

Rinoa started to turn a different way, her room being on the 2nd floor.

"Where are you going?" Selphie asked, surprise written over her face.

"My rooms this way." Rinoa replied.

"Well I guess I better make this short then. Seifer's gotten into a bit of trouble over the years, his latest exploits being by far the worst." Quistis said, but she was cut in by Selphie.

"Like, really bad."

"Thank you Selphie." Quistis snapped, "I-"

"Listen, I know you guys think that you're protecting me, and I have no doubt in my mind that if I was just another girl that you wouldn't care. But I've known Seifer for years. He'd never hurt me."

"Open your eyes Rinoa." Selphie exclaimed.

Rinoa shook her head and made her way towards her room.

"Well that went well." Quistis sighed as she threw her bag on a sofa in the common room.

"I know, but maybe if-"

"If nothing Selphie, she's already decided her course of action, let's just hope that Seifer hasn't decided on his."

Selphie stared at Quistis for a couple of seconds, thoughts running through her head that she would've thought irrational a couple of months ago, but now she wasn't so sure.

"You like him, don't you?" Selphie giggled.

"What! That's preposterous."

"No its not!" Selphie defended.

"Selphie," Quistis sighed, "he tried to kill everyone I've ever cared about. Would you like him?"

Selphie rolled her eyes and sat down on the sofa, barely missing Quistis's bag. She couldn't deny the fact that the alcohol in her system was still at work.

"Well, he is cute y'know."

Quistis threw her hands in the air and stormed off to her room.

"You so like him." Selphie muttered.

I know I know, Squall's sposta see Rinoa as some sort of Greek goddess or something at the concert. But Squall's just not like that! I don't actually know why I made Squall get pissed; it's just that he has to loosen up at some point.

In the original chapter I had Seifer and everyone get in a big brawl, but I thought that was a bit fucked up. I'm not terribly proud of this chapter, but hopefully I'll have another one up by tomorrow that'll be better.

There's a bit too much talking in this chapter for my liking, I usually like to keep it really descriptive but you can only write about someone nodding there head so many times!

I'm stoked at all my reviewers! Keep it up people!

Sorry if this chapter isn't quite as long as the last one but you can't expect me to keep that sort of length up all the time.

Read and Review.


	3. I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that y...

**By myself but not Alone **

**I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

Ok, I'm depressed, so expect a sad chapter… unless I stop writing and come back to it tomorrow, or the day after or something.

Tomorrow's Christmas and I have a huge party to go to in about two hours, so I'm ganna try to finish this chapter before I leave. I doubt I will though cause I've still gotta get ready.

Rinoa stared blankly at the ceiling; she lay on her bed, her hand resting behind her head while thoughts went through her mind that she thought she was over.

'_She died two weeks ago, get over it.' _

Although she knew that she should she just couldn't get over it. She'd never felt a more powerful emotion than this one, and it wasn't the sort of emotion she liked hanging around.

Her mother had been her light, she wasn't just her mum she was one of her best friends too. It was like she lost out on two things, her mother and her friend.

Rinoa rolled over and hugged her pillow; she bit down on the corner, something she'd done since she was quite little. Her mother had always tried to break the habit, but it was there to stay.

She closed her eyes tightly and tried to stop to torrent of tears that were about to cascade down her face, but to no avail. Alas they flowed, staining her pillow; tears were the essence of misery. At least these tears were.

She gripped the pillow tighter to her chest and buried her head into it. She'd never felt so alone.

**Three days later**

Rinoa walked around the empty corridors of Balamb Garden, well half empty. Most of the cadets were in class and only a few SeeD's were hanging around, most of the others on missions of some sort.

Rinoa was relieved that Quistis and Selphie apologised for there 'advise' on the night of the concert. She was relieved because at least now she had some people she could consider friends. Unfortunately Quistis had gone on a mission the next day and wasn't expected back for another two days. Selphie was still around though; she'd been allocated the duty of training some of the junior cadets in the 'monsters lair' as she'd referred to it.

Rinoa had offered to help which Selphie had reluctantly agreed to. Rinoa took it as a bit of an insult at the time; didn't she think that she could handle herself?

When Selphie had asked her what weapon she used Selphie had been surprised that Rinoa even had a weapon… even if it was just a Pinwheel.

Back to the subject at hand… Rinoa was on her way to the dormitories, where she was meeting Selphie before they started.

Rinoa was a little more at ease about it than she thought she would be. She clutched her chosen weapon at her side apprehensively, her heart was pumping in her chest and she had wild Goosebumps… but a lot better than she thought she would be.

Her heart went to go live in her stomach as she saw Selphie approaching, a huge smile on her face… as per usual.

'_How can she be happy? She's going to take some pr-schoolers to go slaughter some monsters.' _Rinoa thought as Selphie got closer.

"Ready!" Selphie squealed enthusiastically.

While it did pierce into Rinoa's eardrum and she was sure that the ringing in her brain wasn't going to subside for quite some time, Rinoa couldn't help but smile at Selphie's exuberance.

"As ever." Rinoa replied.

Rinoa couldn't help but wonder what the time was as she stood outside the training center. Selphie was giving the kids a quick lecture about properly handling there weapons and to stay in there groups no matter what.

"Alright, let's go have some fun!" Selphie finally finished.

The next thing Rinoa knew she was standing there watching a group of running children all bolting towards the entrance. Selphie leading the pack of course.

Rinoa chuckled a little, but couldn't help but think it was a little weird.

As she opened the large metal door that separated the wild beasts inside from the outside world she was shocked at what she saw.

Nearly every child was fighting some sort of monster. There were children fighting with sword like weapons, two or three were merely using martial arts but what surprised her the most was how experienced they all seemed to be at magic.

While she did know a couple of spells, nowhere near as many as these kids.

The monsters they fought were at least six foot tall, which was including the tentacle type things above its head. It was a puke green color with a mouth full of razor sharp teeth with claw wing things coming out of its head.

Selphie came over and stood beside Rinoa, a look of pride on her face.

"Selphie, what exactly are these things?" Rinoa enquired as she watched the battles taking place.

"Grats, nasty buggers." Selphie said with a shudder.

"Don't all the SeeD's train against these things? Isn't it a bit dangerous to take the kids in here?" Rinoa asked.

"Yeah, but these are lower level Grats, there's certain sections of the Training Center have stronger monsters, while others have weaker. I'm not exactly ganna take them go fight a T-Rexaur." Selphie explained.

Once again Selphie had shocked her. She could turn so quickly, one moment she's happy as Larry and then she'd just turn serious.

Rinoa heard footsteps behind her and wasn't surprised to see Squall Irvine and Zell heading towards her. Since she'd been at Garden she'd grown quite accustomed to those two following Squall around. She'd actually gotten quite accustomed to a lot of people following Squall around.

"Go on Squall! Just this once." Zell nagged.

Squall had his usual blank look on his face; Rinoa came to know that this meant he generally wasn't really listening.

"Zell give up, he's not ganna go for it." Irvine laughed.

"Hey Boys!" Selphie yelled, turning around quickly as she said it.

"What are you doing here?" Squall enquired.

"You should help me, I've gotta watch about thirty students in here. All cause Quistis and the others had to go on that mission!" Selphie said downheartedly.

"Not even if you paid me." Squall replied as he continued walking.

"Amen." The two boys with him agreed.

Needless to say by the time Selphie had finished nagging all three were there to stay.

Selphie smiled triumphantly as she watched all the students run to Squall's side. All excited about being taught by SQUALL LEONHART.

**Rinoa's POV.**

WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS GUY! Everyone kisses the ground he walks on! I haven't seen him do one thing that I would consider miraculous! All he does is blow people off.

"Y'know, we saved the world too, you think we'd get a bit of recognition." Selphie sighed.

"Not when Commander Leonhart's about." Zell laughed.

I glance over at Squall; he'd been dragged out into the training center to give a demonstration. He was still fighting reasonably weak monsters but the kids were all really excited.

Squall leaned his sword… like… thingy… against a rock and removed his leather jacket, throwing it carelessly at Zell.

Wow, Mr Big-Man can take off his jacket… what a man.

Yeah that was sarcasm… it thought it was witty.

"Go stand over there." Squall grunts at the students.

He points over at us. Suddenly all the students begin piling towards us, I'm suddenly surrounded by a bunch of five year olds.

I turn to Selphie, who's talking to Irvine and Zell and begin talking to them, not particularly interested in watching Mr Commander slaughter something.

I hear all the students begin cheering and have no choice but to turn back to the battle, seeing as that's what Selphie and the others did as soon as they heard it.

Squall had his hands out in front of him, welding his sword in his hands. His head was down and his eyes were a shadowed by his hanging locks of hair… did I mention that I should be a poet?

He's wearing a sleeveless white shirt and I can see his arm muscles tensing as he stares at the unholy creature in front of him.

I can't help but admit it… he looks very very nice.

I subconsciously lick my lips, believe me if I knew I was doing it I would've slapped myself! I hate violence and stuff like that, but it's just that… he's so… and I'm just… _sigh._

The creature runs at him, its arms flailing above its head wildly. Squall looks up and raises his blade. He does a lightening fast twirl while the monster was about to attack him, his blade slicing into the beasts chest.

Squall grabs a piece of cloth as he walks away, wiping away the blood on his weapon, not bothering to look back and see the outcome of the battle.

The children all erupt in cheers, so does Selphie Irvine and Zell. I can't help but cheer as well.

Squall starts rubbing the back of his neck while red rises to his cheeks. He seems embarrassed by it all.

Naturally the students were all a bit more amped after that.

**Normal POV… AFTER DINNER…**

Rinoa wiped the sides of her mouth and excused herself from the table she sat at. She'd made quite a habit out of eating with Squall and the others.

She couldn't help but think that they weren't themselves around her, but she was a 'spy' after all.

She'd also taken quite a liking to walking around the corridors of Garden at night. The stream going through the Quad always looked beautiful at night and the whole Garden just seemed magic.

After walking for about half an hour she decided that she'd go sit in the Quad and read a book, seeing as it was so peaceful in there.

With a book under her arm she made her way towards the Quad, staring at awe at the Garden as she went. No matter how long she was here she just couldn't get used to it.

As soon as she walked in she started making her way towards the open part of the Quad, the part that showed the stars.

Finding that she wasn't alone, seeing as there was a shadowy figure leaning on the railings, she was going to leave. But then she noticed that it was Squall.

"Do you come here much?" Rinoa asked as she approached him.

Squall turned around and then turned back when he saw it was Rinoa.

"Not really."

Rinoa nodded and set her book down on the ground, figuring that she wouldn't really read much while he was here.

"I love it here." Rinoa said as she too leaned against the railing.

Squall nodded and went back to staring at nothing.

"You're quite skilled." Rinoa said, fumbling over what to say to end the silence.

Squall sighed and lowered his head; he raised it again and glanced at Rinoa.

"Thank you."

Rinoa stared at Squall once he'd looked away from her; she studied his face, trying to remember every aspect of it. It was like a beautiful painting she wanted to remember forever.

"What?" he finally asked, aware of her staring the whole time.

"Nothing, I was just staring." Rinoa replied, not denying it for a second.

Squall gave her a look like she was insane and opened his mouth in a sort of disgusted look.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Rinoa said back quickly, quite enjoying the reactions Squall gave her.

"Why are you here?" Squall suddenly said, surprising both of them.

Now Rinoa was the one to look disgusted at Squall, he was prying and being awfully blunt about it.

"That's none of your business!" Rinoa yelled.

Squall held up his hands in defense, shaking his head as he did so.

"What was it to stay with Seifer or something?" Squall said in a sing song voice.

Once again surprising both of them.

"What are you jealous?" Rinoa laughed.

Squall didn't reply, he just rolled his eyes. Rinoa smiled and couldn't help but hope that he was, she knew that she shouldn't really want to get involved with someone like him. But he was intoxicating. She was realizing why everyone liked him so much, why everyone respected him.

"It must suck having everyone follow you round like that." Rinoa chuckled.

"You get used to it." Squall said simply.

Rinoa nodded and decided that once again it was time for her to take her leave.

"Well I'll leave you to it." Rinoa said as she picked up her book and began to walk away.

Squall turned quickly and before he could stop them, for about the twentieth time in this conversation he said something that he could've kicked himself for.

"Don't…"

I'm ganna stop now. I hope that wasn't as evil as I think it's going to be.

Questions, queries whatever just review.


	4. The bond that never was and never will b...

**By myself but not Alone**

**The bond that never was and never will be**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

**Selphie's POV**

I can't believe I lost the General's daughter! I told her to meet me outside the cafeteria at 9AM and its only 11AM… she's only a little late. Ow! Who am I kidding, she's not coming… Geez the people for lunch are ganna be coming soon.

But I've checked everywhere, even the Parking Lot! As per usual there were the "lovers" hooking up in the backseat of one of the mission cars, why is it always me who walks in on that?

I didn't look in the Training Centre… but Rinny wouldn't go in there by herself would she?

Suddenly I see Zell running up to me, he looks freaked out about something. Although he looks stressed I can't help but be relieved that he's here, he always makes me calm cause he's so strung out.

"Have you seen Squall anywhere?" Zell pants.

He's obviously been looking for Squall for quite some time.

"Nope, you seen Rinoa?" I reply.

Zell shakes his head, he keeps his eyes sharp as he searches though… thinking about it, I doubt that Zell's been looking for that long, he probably would've given up if he had been.

"Why?" I continue.

Ok, I know that I should be looking for Rinoa, but a girl needs a break. Besides it's not like the Principals looking for her or anything.

"Cause General Caraway just turned up and Principal Cid wants to see him!" Zell exclaims.

My face absolutely falls… Rinoa's missing and her fathers here… her father who she's never met in her life… her father who will probably want to see her.

"Oh my Lord." I gasp.

"What?" Zell enquires, still searching the crowds for Squall's face.

"I have no idea where Rinoa is! The General probably wants to see her too!"

Needless to say both Zell and I begin a frantic search.

**Normal POV**

"Ok, I haven't seen Squall either, so there probably together, right?" Selphie began.

They were piecing together all the information they had… they were trained SeeD's and trained SeeD's should be able to find the most popular guy in Balamb Garden and a civilian.

"Right."

"Well, I've looked in the VIP rooms and everywhere but the training centre." Selphie said.

"Off to the training centre then."

Rinoa found herself clutching her side in laughter as Squall retold her the story of Zell's first date. They were walking around the training centre, as they had been doing all night, talking and waiting to be attacked by monsters. Squall was training Rinoa, who, although a little reluctant at first, was having a lot of fun.

As if on que a Grat jumped out of the bushes, heading straight for Rinoa and Squall. Squall held his Gunblade out in front of him while Rinoa clutched her Pinwheel, feeling the butterfly feeling that she had gotten used to feeling at the start of every battle.

Rinoa pulled back her pinwheel and released, letting a furiously fast shot straight to the Grats head. It fell back a bit but came back, as enraged as ever.

Although Squall had been training her, there's only so much a person can learn on there first day. Rinoa still wasn't exactly at expert level, but she felt more confident handling her weapon and that was always a start.

Squall held his Gunblade up in front of him to block an onslaught of attacks that the monster was throwing at him. It was basically ignoring Rinoa which she was eternally grateful for… so far tonight all the monsters had seemed to do was attack her.

Squall felt his temper rise up as the hits started to hurt more and more. He twisted his ankle to the side, essentially tripping the beast up and drove his gunblade into his wriggling form.

Rinoa subconsciously grabbed her silver necklace and took a step back, gasping as she did so.

"Sorry." Squall said simply as he wrenched his gunblade out of the now motionless Grat.

Rinoa nodded but didn't let go of her necklace, it was her defence mechanism, just something she'd done for years and wasn't going to stop any time soon.

"So, are there any monsters in here other than Grats?" Rinoa asked as they took to walking once again.

Squall nodded and kept his eyes out in front of him, he'd had to heal himself and Rinoa a few times tonight because of ambushes from herds of Grats. He'd always been told that Grats herding was very rare, considering how much they preferred to be unaccompanied. Apparently these people were wrong.

"Yeah, there's a vicious beast called T-Rexaur. It's basically a giant red lizard, carnivorous and usually awfully hungry. You have to be particularly careful with it than Grats because it's desperate for a decent meal, having only eaten Grats for god knows when." Squall explained.

Rinoa bit her bottom lip, wondering if they were going to encounter any of these ferocious beasts.

"What are the chances that we're going to see one?" Rinoa enquired.

"Nil, they all hang around a different section of the training centre." Squall concluded.

Rinoa was about to continue this discussion when she noticed Squall's head perk up, she soon found out why. There were fast footsteps coming towards them, running obviously and making steady ground.

'_Oh sweet Hyne, please don't be one of those monsters…' _Rinoa thought as she absent mindedly grabbed onto Squall's arm.

Thankfully it was not… but it could've been something much worse.

Selphie and Zell ran towards them, both of them red-faced from running and panting quite profusely.

"Squall, Cid wants to see you in your office right now." Zell said before Selphie could get a word in.

Squall nodded and began making his way towards the exit, not bothering to bid anyone farewell.

"You should probably go to Rinny," Selphie began, Rinoa gave her a quizzical look, wondering why she would want to go as well, "your fathers here."

Rinoa held her breath nearly the whole way towards the office, curious yet apprehensive about meeting her father for the first time.

She had kinda hoped that this day wouldn't come, she was just starting to enjoy Garden and now she had to deal with this.

"Scared?" Squall asked as he glanced over at her.

"A little." Rinoa stated.

Squall nodded and looked directly in front of him, listening to the annoyingly calm music that the elevator played.

**Rinoa's POV**

I can't believe this, he's here… why do I feel like my life's about to turn to shit? Not that it's that sweet as it is but still…

The elevator doors open swiftly, there's the receptionist from the other day… she's smiling at me, I feel kinda reassured by the simple act. I don't think she realises that she's putting me at ease.

The double doors open wide and a quickly take an intake of breath, waiting to greet the man that I am supposed to recognise as my father.

"Ah Squall," Cid says as we enter, he seems momentarily shocked to see me standing there, "Rinoa, I didn't expect to see you."

I smile apologetically at Cid, but I can't keep my eyes off the man standing in front of his desk. He has his back to me and hasn't turned around since our entrance. Even when he heard that I was here.

Doesn't he care? Am I not his daughter? The one that he's never seen or talked to… the one he never bothered to care about… the one that he forgot.

As these thoughts and many others boil over in my mind I start to resent the man. He never cared about me for a day in his entire life. He lived his life as if I didn't exist while I spent my whole life wondering what he'd be like, whether he'd like me and why I didn't have a Daddy like all the other little girls.

"… Father?" I say quietly.

Squall's still at my side, I'm so happy that he is. He gives me strength… with him there I know that no one can hurt me. It's just a feeling I keep getting off him since last night. Like no matter what he'll always protect me.

The man turns and I am certain that he is my father. His face gives it away. Although he looks nothing like me (thank Hyne!) I can tell. He's the man that I've had in my dreams when I imagined my father.

"Rinoa." He says softly.

He has black, slightly greying hair and dark black eyes. He's got a strong, square chin and his face is masked with wrinkles but I can see the man underneath… through his eyes… and I think I'm a little scared of him.

"I apologise for the circumstances that we have to meet under. I imagine that right now isn't really the most opportune moment for you to be meeting me."

I know he's referring to my mother's death. How can he say it like that? Like he would've met me had it been otherwise. I can't help it; I have to voice my opinion.

"I doubt we would've met under any other."

There's scorn behind my voice, I can hear it. I'm certain Squall heard it, Cid definitely did, but Caraway seems to be unfazed by it.

Squall's staring at me; he's got a confused look on his face. He looks like he's dying to ask me something but is waiting. I kinda want him to just ask it, to get it out in the open and to get me out of the uncomfortable situation I've put myself in.

"I'm sorry you feel that way." Caraway answers.

He answers like I'm wrong, I know I'm right. If we were going to meet we would've done it before now. If he was going to attempt to contact me it would've happened.

"Please forgive my rudeness!"

Thank heavens for Cid!

"General Caraway, this is Squall Leonhart, he is the commander of our Garden." Cid said with pride behind his voice.

"We've met." Squall says simply.

Caraway nods at Squall, Squall doesn't return the nod. I can see that Squall doesn't particularly like Caraway, it's obvious. He's usually aloof at best but he seems cold now.

I put my hand on Squall's arm, earning me his attention. I smile up at him, trying to read his thoughts, wondering why he's turned so suddenly. Squall just turns back to the other men in the room; I roll my eyes and make my way to a seat in the centre of the room. I think that as the only lady here I should have first dibs on the chairs.

"Rinoa, I understand if you are upset with me." Caraway begins.

How can he understand? Did his father disown him when he was born? Does he even have a father? I doubt it.

"But you're going to have to get over this foolishness. I'm here now aren't I?"

I slowly stand, finally finding the courage to really speak my mind. Believe me, I've been holding back. I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he had to leave. Maybe he didn't have a choice or something. But now he's demanding me to get over 17 years of nothing… doubt it!

"It doesn't matter! You were never there before! Why should I like you? You're the General of an army that dictates to its citizens damn near what there allowed to wear…" I'm just momentarily forgetting about my mother's occupation, that's a long story though; believe me when I say we had arguments. "And I heard that you were living in Deling for quite some time without even bothering to look us up! You forgot me for 17 years and now you expect it to be some sort of happy family reunion? Well I'm sorry CARAWAY but you can't run out on your family for 17 years and expect them to love you!" I scream.

My voice got louder and louder the more I yelled. I can feel the heat rising to my face and my hands are clenched at my sides. I don't understand why I'm so angry, I just am. Its one of those things that I promised I wouldn't get emotional at and I ended out getting emotional in the one way I thought I wouldn't.

How did I think this was going to go though? Did I expect to have Caraway run towards me with open arms, whisk me up into his arms and explain in great detail why he could never be there for me? Did I really believe that this could possibly have turned any other way? Well I would've hoped that it might've gone a little better than it was turning.

Cid's starting to get nervous, I can tell. He's fumbling with the bottom of his shirt and giving Squall uneasy glances.

My breath is course and hard. It feels as though I've just run a marathon or something.

"I would really prefer it if you didn't call me that." Caraway snaps.

My mouth gapes open. What the fuck does he expect me to call him? Daddy… Papa… even Father feels a little extreme.

"What more do you expect! You're nothing more than a lonely old man and I feel sorry for you!" I scream, and I mean I screamed it.

Volume has no limit to me.

After this is said I storm out of the room, not allowing tears to fall, not allowing Caraway to reply and definitely not allowing myself to look at Squall's stunned face.

**Normal POV**

"I better go talk to her." Squall sighs as he turns and makes his way out behind Rinoa.

Running as fast as he can Squall managed to just slip his hand in the closing elevator door. He forces it open and calmly, as if nothing at all had happened, entered.

"Well that was dramatic." Squall says as he brushes a bit of dust of his jacket.

Rinoa sniffs and turns away from Squall, she lowers her head to the ground, embarrassed that he had to see that.

"Go away." Rinoa sighs.

"No, what was that all about?" Squall continues.

Rinoa leans her head against the corner of the elevator and feels her eyes start to water up. She wants to hold them back, she's desperate to hold them back but unfortunately, as per usual, she is unable to.

"Please… go away." Rinoa sobs.

Squall slowly presses the stop button on the elevator, it comes to a jolting halt and Squall nearly looses his balance for a second.

Rinoa felt the jolt and let herself fall to the ground in a crumbled heap. She'd never felt so emotionally drained in her existence.

Squall crouches down beside her and puts a gloved hand on her shoulder. He tries to shush her, but Rinoa was too emotional at the moment to have mere words console her.

She looks over at him, her eyes red rimmed from crying, a depressed and worn look on her face. She suddenly latches her arms around his neck and buries her head into his chest. Squall didn't immediately hug her back. Instead he looked down at her sobbing form with a look of shock etched into his handsome features. Resigning himself to the fact that she wasn't going to let go any time soon, and that he quite enjoyed it anyway, he slowly wrapped one arm around her waist, while with the other he softly stroked her dark locks.


	5. Beat me to the ground

**By myself but not Alone**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

Sorry if some of this isn't exactly correct, I haven't played ff8 in a long time so I'm just going off memory.

**QUISTIS'S POV**

My heart is pounding in my chest and blood has soaked into my clothes, staining them a dark crimson color that I'm positive I'll never get out. Most of my team has been obliterated and only myself and two others remain.

Our mission was simple, there had been a build up of Behemoth in the Esthar area, unfortunately we didn't count on there being so many. One on its own is a mission enough, but fighting any more than three becomes a bit of a handful. Not to mention the arrival of some very nasty looking Catoblepas, there a close relative of the Behemoth.

Basically these beasts are grungy dog looking creatures, they usually have wings too small to actually support there body weight. This is because of there tough skin they have to get cold air into there flesh somehow, these wings are thin and easy to tear off but they are the monsters ventilation.

They also have horns at the front of there head that are there main weapon when attacking. They have a tail out the back of them with spikes protruding out of it, though I imagine this could deal a deadly blow they are usually reluctant to use them.

Fur covers from the back of there neck to the top of there head, as well as there chest area. My least favorite part of these beasts are their claws, they dig into your flesh and make the worst wounds I have come across in my time as a SeeD.

I think the strangest thing about the Behemoth though is its coloration, they are a midnight purple, the fur is a crimson red and its horns and claws are a dark black. While the Catoblepas are a red color with strange grey patterns weaving around there skin. There horns are also black while there fur is ivory white.

These beasts had threatened to enter the Esthar city and wreak havoc on the inhabitants. President Loire immediately enlisted the help of Balamb Garden, seeing as his Esthar solders were no match for the monsters. But as it would seem, we are no match either.

I swing my whip around my head and crack it down on one of the beasts; I've been wearing down for quite some times, head. It falls to the ground and a feel it shake momentarily. Taking the brief chance I have to have a breather I briefly stare up at the sky, praying to Hyne for some sort of help. Seconds later I am thrown into another fierce battle.

Suddenly I feel the calming light of a Curaga spell being cast on me. Thank god I studied battle tactics when I was fourteen. I have set up the remaining SeeD's in a typical battle position. One is standing high on a ledge where none of the monsters can reach. Her name is Reanna and she specializes in white magic. So naturally her job is to heal us as we need it.

My other companion is a boy called Ayden. He has only been a SeeD for about a month but he seems to be a highly advanced fighter. He uses a spear and is the only other person out here fighting these monsters other than myself.

The funny thing is, when we started it was a group of fifteen. We were slaughtered, I can't believe that we've lasted this long. It was a suicide mission.

For about the twentieth time today I decide that we need a break, I call out to Ayden and tell him that I am going to summon a Gf. That basically means that he has to cover me while I do so. While I'm summoning I'm generally defenseless.

Squall had leant me the Gf Diablos before I had left, he thought that I might need. So far I've been using my old trusty Quezacotl but seeing as this probably will be the last chance I have at using a Gf, I figure I might as well take a chance.

My concentration is focused fully on one thing, summoning this Gf. I'm helpless and although I hate being helpless in any way I have to… otherwise we're all dead.

A green light illuminates around me and suddenly the sky turns an eerie purple, bats swarm all around and they start to form a giant black ball of what looks like ooze. It hangs in the sky for a couple of seconds before a red and black demon slowly comes out from the bottom of the ball. It spreads its wings dramatically before arching its back and thrusting its arm up towards the black ball of ooze.

Red and yellow tendrils of electricity connect Diablos and the ball. Using what looks to me like all of its strength it throws the ball down at all the monsters below. It plummets to the ground and when it connects with the beasts eight symbols appear surrounding the ball. Following that one large symbol appears in the middle of the ball before Diablos does a back flip in the air and disappears as quickly as it had appeared.

I am shocked by the amount of damage Diablos caused. Most of the monsters are either dead or damn near it. But there are still a lot of them. We need to cast some powerful spells right now, and a lot of them.

I glance at Ayden for a second then up at Reanna, they are both staring at me, there eyes tell me that they are wondering what there course of action should be now. I decide that we don't have time to sort out a battle plan so I immediately cast a Meteor, instantly a torrent of comets strike all the beasts surrounding us.

As if directly on queue I see a flash of white followed by a flash of black. Reanna has cast a tremendously powerful Holy spell while Ayden followed my lead by casting an Ultima. I can't help but wonder how he attained such a powerful spell. Being a starting SeeD I doubt that he was able to draw it from the type of beasts that carry that spell. I must ask him… if this works.

**Back at Garden… Squall's POV**

An uneasy feeling is overcoming my senses and I'm finding it a little hard to concentrate on the job at hand. I'm currently sitting at my desk, looking over the god awful paper work that Cid has so generously bestowed on me. What a guy… cheers Cid…

Back to my uneasy feeling, I can't help but be a little worried about Quistis. Her mission was supposed to be over today, well that was the estimated time that we thought it would take for them to complete this mission but we haven't had any contact with her since she reached Esthar.

Although I'd refuse to admit it to anyone, I am a little worried. Quistis knows protocol and she always follows it. For her to not follow it for any reason must've been major.

I glance down at my watch, if I wait another two hours then Cid said that I can take a group and go check it out. Unfortunately this is turning out to be two of the longest hours of my life. Someone has to have lost contact for over a day before we are allowed to find them. Quistis has been gone longer than this but no one seemed to notice until yesterday and Cid seems to be convinced that she will be fine.

I am not so sure…

**Two hours later**

Although Squall hadn't wanted to, his crew had been none other than Selphie Irvine and Zell. They had insisted that they be the ones to assist Squall in finding Quistis as soon as they had heard of her disappearance.

Squall wasn't surprised in the least about it; he knew that they were just as worried about her as he was.

They were a sight to see that was for sure. The legendary SeeD's, all together… well nearly all of them and one of them wasn't technically a SeeD… anyway!

Squall walked with his Gunblade resting on his shoulder, his head high and his eyes focused straight ahead of himself. He made a sharp turn at the parking lot and headed for a 'special park' well that was what it was labeled anyway. He pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the steel door that separated this room from the rest of the Garden. Inside was their personal ship, the only one of its kind… the Ragnarok.

It had been dubbed as theirs after they had completed their… special mission… not only that but Selphie was one of the only people able to fly it. It surprised most people, for someone who seemed so simple she really had a gift for working technical things. Not even Nada could work it and he was responsible for flying Garden when they needed it.

Squall and the others boarded the ship, heading straight for the cockpit. Selphie took her seat, stretching her hands out in front of her and smiling broadly. She had a gleam in her eye that was only there when driving this thing. It was one of her passions. It was quite an adrenaline rush just riding on it though, the Ragnarok being one of the fastest airships on the planet.

Irvine stood behind Selphie, as per usual, resting his body weight on the back of her seat. Squall had always supposed it was because from that angle he not only got one of the best views in the world but he also got an A class peek, straight down Selphie's little yellow dress.

But that was just one mans opinion.

"Do you really think that we should just leave her here like this? Does she even know we're going?" Selphie asked before she let the engines roar into life.

Squall glanced up from whatever it was he had been doing previously, immediately knowing that the question was being directed towards him.

"No she doesn't know we're going and that's the way it should stay." Squall answered quickly.

"Yeah Selph. She'd probably start freaking out or something. You know how civilians get." Zell added.

"It just… doesn't seem right." Selphie sighed.

They all heard what sounded like metal scraping together, thinking that it was probably just Selphie's bad driving they dismissed it. Even Selphie thought it was her fault, but she wasn't going to point it out if it was.

Soon they were high over Balamb garden, sailing away from its boarders and into the unknown territory of Esthar. Esthar was only about half an hour's flight from Balamb, most people thinking that it was a barren waste land, it was quite the contrary. Flora was a bit lacking but scientifically they were at the forefront of technology.

Quistis was supposed to be stationed somewhere near the Lunar Gate, but Esthar was such a vast continent it meant anywhere basically. Nonetheless the search began. They didn't have to search far before they noticed a large herding of Behemoth accompanied by the occasional Catoblepas.

"I hope Quisty isn't down there." Selphie quivered.

Irvine gulped and searched with his eyes for any tell tale signs of Quistis. Whether it be the sound of her whip or a spell of some sort being cast.

They soon heard a very feminine scream that echoed over the Esthar plains. Squall ordered Selphie to land immediately, panic written all over his face. The fact that Squall wasn't calm made the rest of the group nervous, not to mention the fear they already felt.

As it floated slowly, a little too slow in their opinions, they all equipped themselves with magic's and Gf. Although the use of GF's had been prohibited since they had learnt of its negative affects it was still allowed in life or death situations. This would be considered one.

"This is ganna be a toughie." Selphie sighed as she jogged down to the exit.

"Irvine and I will secure the area around Quistis once she is located, Selphie, and Zell, you two…" Squall trailed off at the end.

Something caught his attention, something that wasn't supposed to be here.

"We two…" Zell

Squall shushed him, sending him an ice melting glare as he did so. Zell rolled his eyes while Selphie started tapping her foot impatiently.

"Squall, we have to go!" Irvine finally burst out.

"Right…" Squall trailed out, he began briefing them on their positions as they ran out.

P.s, I think I did pretty well for memory… not that I cheated and looked on the internet or anything…

(I'm not sure if they call them Airships in ff8 but they do in damn near all the other ones!)


	6. How the hell did I get here?

**By myself but not Alone**

**How the hell did I get here?**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8

**Rinoa's POV**

How the hell did I get here? Why does that sound like a song… I'm sure that sounds familiar… anyway, here I am sitting under a bunch of old ropes and boxes hoping to god that nobody finds me. I don't even know what possessed me to come on this ship thing!

Ok, what happened was this… I was walking around Garden, the thing that I've made quite a habit out of, and I see Squall, Irvine, Selphie and Zell walking towards the parking lot. I called out to them and they just ignored me! Well no one ignores Rinoa Heartilly I can tell you! So I followed them and was going to give them a piece of my mind when they went inside this room and entered this strange looking ship. To make a long story short I followed them and tripped up on these ropes.

Then the ship started rumbling and moving so without thinking I just hid. I PANICED OK!

This is actually all Squalls' fault, I know you understand why. If he just locked the door after him then this wouldn't have happened!

I thought SeeD's were supposed to be smart!

I can feel the ship stopping; we've been travelling for what seems to me like FOREVER!

Holy shit… here they come… holding my breath…

"This is ganna be a toughie." Selphie says, she's running towards the exit, as is everyone else.

"Irvine and I will secure the area around Quistis once she is located," there he goes again, being all… Squall-like, "Selphie and Zell, you two…"

He's staring straight at me, I think he can see me, his eyes are searching for me, I can feel them on me. I suddenly become very aware of the fact that a little bit of my coat is hanging out from underneath my hiding place.

"We two…"

Thank Hyne for Zell!

Squall glares menacingly at Zell; he hushes him and continues staring. Dear Hyne I'm ganna be found out. Goodbye world, I loved you so much.

"Squall we have to go!" Irvine damn near yells.

"Right…"

And with that they're gone. Phew.

After waiting about five minutes I uncover myself and start walking around the ship. It's amazing… and a lot bigger than I first anticipated. Not that I didn't think it'd be big or anything it's just huge.

Finally letting my curiosity get the better of me I decide to take a look outside. The doors slowly open and before they are even an inch I can hear the unfamiliar sound of battle. The sound of swords cutting through flesh and angry beasts charging floods into my ears.

Once they are all the way down I run out and see some of the grungiest beasts I have ever seen. They don't seem to notice my presence, which I am very grateful for and I find myself clutching my weapon at my side.

The first person I see is Zell. Sweet merciful Hyne does he go hard! His face is screwed up in concentration as he pounds his rock hard fists into the purple monsters face and body. His face is already bloody and I can see that he is weakening fast.

I need to help him, he's my friend! But there's nothing I can do, I can't fight that thing! Thinking hard and fast I decide that the best thing I can do is support him with a couple of healing spells.

His bodies starting to droop and I can tell he's tired. Whats the best thing I can do for him?

I scream the words before I can think, my hands outstretched in front of me.

"HASTE!"

A yellow light illuminates from my hands and with lightening speed surround Zell.

I've had a haste cast on me once before, Irvine did it as a joke as I was ordering my food from the cafeteria. He got in sooooo much trouble for it. Because as you know magic and weapons aren't allowed to be used in the cafeteria.

But it's like being on a drug. Your entire body starts pulsing and you don't feel like your doing everything really fast, it just seems like the world around you is moving really slowly. You can feel the blood beneath your skin and you become really alert of everything.

Zell's eyes go wide and he stands straight again. His movements are so fast, much faster than mine had been. He raises his fist and runs towards the creature, letting out an animal like cry as he went. With one final blow the monster falls to the ground, its body polluting the earth beneath it.

He looks up and searches around for who cast it. His eyes widen even further… if that's possible, when he spots me.

"RINOA!" he yells loudly.

I smile weakly and he's about to say something when a monster crushes into him from behind. I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. That was my fault… I hope he's ok.

He's beginning to stand and he does not look happy.

My attention is drawn to someone running towards me. It's Irvine and he's carrying Quistis in his arms. Her body is limp and her eyes closed.

I open my mouth and can almost feel the tears. Oh please don't be dead Quistis.

Irvine looks like he's about to scowled me but instead he runs straight past me. I was going to follow him to make sure that Quistis was alright but I hear a high pitched whistle and then out of nowhere Selphie and Squall come running towards the ship.

Zell heard the whistle too. He runs towards me, grabbing my arm as he runs but as he does the same monster that had been fighting him before knocks him down again, sending me with him.

As we fall Zell smashes his head against the hard rock ground beneath us, knocking him out.

I cower over Zell, begging him to wake up. If he doesn't then I am quite sure that this thing will kill me.

It leaps up on its back legs, making it at least three times taller than me. I scream as loud as I can and cover Zell with my body, waiting for the blow that will undoubtedly kill me.

Before I know it I've yelled one person's name, the one person who comes to my mind… the one person that can save me.

"SQUALL!"

**Back at Garden**

General Caraway paces back and forth across his room. He hadn't seen Rinoa since their squabble and when he finally thought that it was time to talk to her about it; it seems she has disappeared off the face of the planet.

And to top it all off it seems that his men haven't found any reason to suspect Balamb Garden of the assassination. Well attempted assassination.

'_I know it was them… I can feel it in my bones.' _Caraway thought as he made his way towards his bedroom.

Once inside he pulled out a notepad that had all his notes on his investigation. He looked over them for about the thirtieth time today and sighed. Nothing pointed to Balamb, but after talking to the lead investigator of Galbadia Garden it seemed that they didn't seem responsible either.

Caraway flopped down at his desk and cradled his head in his hands, his thoughts wandered back to Rinoa. He knew that distancing himself from her would have repercussions, he'd known if from day one. But he didn't need a child, he didn't want a child. The fact of the matter was that General's having daughters was a burden.

A son was what he needed, a strapping male who he could mould into his own image. Someone he could make hard, just like him. Someone who could take over for him when he died, not some weak little girl.

'_But here she is…' _Caraway thought.

He rubbed his temple and sighed, there was no way to escape it, and he was stuck with her. He wasn't cruel hearted enough to turn his back on her when she had nowhere else to go, but it was still more of a load than he was ready for.

Caraway hears a knock at the door that takes his attention away from his current predicament. Walking towards the door he checks his watch and is surprised to find that its mid afternoon.

It's a young Cadet at the door, as Caraway opens it the Cadet tries to look over his shoulder and into his room. Most Cadets had never seen into the VIP rooms.

"Yes?" Caraway asks irritably.

"Sir," the Cadet says while saluting, "Miss Rinoa has disappeared, Sir. No one is able to find her at this present time, Sir."

"At ease." Caraway says with a wave.

He angrily checks his watch again and starts tapping his foot in frustration. She was turning out to be more trouble than she was worth and an immense distraction from what he was supposed to be doing.

"When was she last seen?" Caraway enquired.

The cadet thought about the question for awhile, he hadn't been informed of that but everyone knew who Rinoa was.

"I saw her earlier leaving the library with Zell Dincht."

"Go retrieve him for me and bring him to my quarters." Caraway replied as he tried to close the door.

The cadet stuck his foot between the door and the doorframe, essentially not allowing Caraway to close the door.

"He has been sent on a rescue mission, Sir."

"Have you searched the entire Garden?" Caraway asked, referring to Rinoa's disappearance.

"Affirmative."

"Well go to Balamb and search there." Caraway snapped.

The Cadet looked quite uneasy by this suggestion.

"Sir, I have a SeeD exam tomorrow and if I breach my curfew then I'll fail. Plus I have to get permission from Principal Cid to exit the Garden because of my low rank, Sir." The Cadet said quietly.

"If you don't go to Balamb right now then I will personally make sure that you never become a SeeD!"

**Esthar SQUALL'S POV**

Sharp pains are stabbing into my ribs and my legs are burning with a fire I have never felt before. But I have to save her, I can't let General Caraway's daughter be trampled to death… I can't let Rinoa be trampled to death.

I'm not going to make it; Rinoa's going to die… I HAVE TO SAVE HER!

Selphie is way behind me now and I can hear her screaming Rinoa's name. I know that Zell will survive this, that's what SeeD's do, they survive. But Rinoa…

The Behemoth claw like feet are inching closer and closer to Rinoa and time seems to have slowed down. My legs just won't move fast enough. As I run I pull my Gunblade out from my belt, raising it high above my head. If I can't get there in time I will at least slay the beast that killed her.

Rinoa's head is pressed hard against Zell's chest and her arms are protecting her head, her eyes are clenched together tightly and I can almost see the glittery tears streaming down her checks.

"SQUALL!"

She screams my name and I am not close enough, I can't save her. I can't do anything but watch. I push myself harder and run faster, faster than I ever thought I could possibly run. I'm still not fast enough.

Just when all hope seems to have gone a white, blinding light flashes off of Rinoa's skin. In the last second, before I have to cover my eyes I thought I saw a pair of wings coming out of Rinoa's back.

I skid to a stop and cover my eyes with my arm, the light makes little white dots appear under my eyelids.

I can still see the brightness from behind my eyelids. I can hear Rinoa screaming, she's screaming much louder than Selphie is and it sounds like she's in agonising pain.

I feel the ground rumbling beneath me and I hear the earth crack. I'm thrown back by a force that I can't explain. It's powerful, yet calming.

Finally, I open my eyes just as the light sinks back into Rinoa. I search her back for the wings that I thought I had seen but see nothing. It must've been my imagination; it's been a very stressful day.

I glance around briefly, all the monsters that had once surrounded us are dead. There bodies going for miles all around us. I put this aside for the time being and become conscious of Rinoa again.

I run to Rinoa's side, she's unconscious, lying on top of Zell. I scoop her up in my arms, surprised at how light she is. Not that I think she's fat… she's perfect. No I didn't say perfect! I meant to say… uhhh… adequate.

Her body is limp but I can see her chest moving up and down… up… down… not that I'm staring!

I hear Selphie casting a float on Zell, Zell being too bulky for Selphie to carry herself.

As I lug Rinoa inside the Ragnarok I find myself wondering what that light was. She can't have cast that sort of spell on her own, I've seen Rinoa's spell-casting ability and it is nowhere near the level that was.

'_Why didn't that light kill us? Selphie, Zell and I should be dead…'_


	7. Your voice it chased away all the sanity...

**By myself but not Alone**

**Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

**SQUALL'S POV**

I'm pacing, I need to stop pacing. Irving and Zell are staring at me with small smiles on their faces. I'm tempted to ask them what the hell their problem is but I can't.

I'm riddled with worry. Selphie's in the floor below us, watching over Rinoa and Quistis. The Ragnarok's on auto-pilot, which I don't really trust. I like to keep humans in the loop somehow but Zell's a useless driver at most other vehicles and Irvine's too consumed with the fact that there's two unconscious women below him.

I can't drive it either; I dunno it's just too complicated. I don't think I could drive it even if I knew how, there's just too much on my mind right now.

These thoughts include Quistis's medical state, the light blast that didn't kill us, the fact that the petrol in the Ragnarok is dwindling terrifyingly close to empty and of course… Rinoa.

Finally having enough of their continuing stares, I turn to them both, a look on my face that I haven't directed towards too many people in my existence.

"What are you two staring at!" I snap harshly.

"You, why don't you just go down there and see how she is?" Irvine enquires.

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll be fine." Zell adds.

Zell had regained consciousness about ten minutes ago but he was as spry as ever.

I suddenly feel a jolt and it sends me to the ground. Zell's sent to the ground as well and Irvine smacks his chin hard on one of the seats.

I feel another one and can hear crashes and bangs on the floor below us.

"What the fuck's that?" Zell exclaims.

I shakily make my way towards the cockpit. Another jolt sends me to the ground again, and I slide towards forwards about a meter crashing into the driver's seat.

Taking a seat I fasten my seatbelt and look down at the flashing lights that are going off. The one that catches my attention first is the petrol light. How ironic that one of the most known high-tech airships in the world is still hindered by a little thing like gas.

I fly out of my seat and slide towards the elevator to help Selphie, two unconscious people, one of whom is seriously injured must be quite a mission to keep safe at the moment.

Zell and Irvine follow my lead and run behind my sliding body.

Once the doors are closed all three of us slam into the doors, the Ragnarok has started freefalling from the sky, face first by the feel of it.

The doors open and I immediately see Selphie trying desperately to reach for Rinoa, whose body is slumped in the far corner of the room. Selphie's cradling Quistis's head in her lap and has wrapped her legs around her injured body to steady it and stop it from sustaining more injury.

I trip and fall as I get out of the elevator and slam into the far side of the Ragnarok. I grab Rinoa, who is right beside me now and hold her body against mine, readying myself for the worst jolt of all. The one when we hit the water.

This ship is air tight so I'm confident that no water will come in as long as we don't sustain damage.

Selphie has started screaming and Irvine is holding her, Zell has taken over Quistis's safety as Selphie is a little distraught.

We slam into the water, it's not as bad as I thought it would be but it's enough to give us all the fright of our lives… well maybe not lives. Trust me when your working with death for a living nothing scares you.

Suddenly everything goes calm. I can't believe we forgot to get fuel for the ship before we left. It was just that we were all so worried about Quistis we let it cloud out better judgment.

"Is anyone hurt?" I yell, picking Rinoa up once again.

"My arm, I think I dislocated it." I hear Zell say.

I hear a loud popping sound and Zell cry out in agony, Irvine obviously just put his arm back in place.

"Better?" Irvine says with a grin.

Zell just glares back and momentarily I get this feeling that everything is going to be ok.

But when you're a SeeD, nothing is ever just Ok.

I give Rinoa to Irvine and make my way out of the room, deciding that I need to assess out situation. Selphie follows me while Irvine and Zell are left to clean up.

"What happened? Were we attacked?" Selphie asks.

"No… we ran out of gas." I say quietly.

Selphie chuckles and then looks back up at my face.

"You're serious." She says loudly.

I nod and feel a smile tugging on my lips. The legendary SeeD's, the ones responsible for saving time itself… ran out of gas.

"Oh my sweet Hyne. Well what are we ganna do?" Selphie exclaims.

"I don't know, radio for help I suppose." I reply.

She nods and as I turn a corner to get up on the roof she continues straight. Although I don't usually enjoy her company, don't get me wrong, I like Selphie it's just that she can be a bit much sometimes. But right now I need someone to ease my thoughts.

"Aren't you coming?" I enquire.

"Nah, I need to take a walk or something to cool off."

**SELPHIE'S POV**

I imagine that Squall's thinking about the same thing I am… what was that light? It was powerful, and believe me when I say that I was shitting myself! But at the same time I felt completely at peace when it passed over me. I knew that it wasn't going to hurt me, but why didn't it? And why was it coming from Rinoa? I've never heard of a type of magic or a Gf that is anything like that. I'll have to ask Quistis… if she's ganna be ok.

She's roughed up pretty bad. I dunno, she's cold. It's weird. I wish she was here… we need her.

When we arrived Quistis was battling one of those Hyne awful monsters. Squall and me killed it and Quistis just sorta fainted. Squall reckons its probably exhaustion or something but I hope she wakes up soon.

And now Rinny's out as well. Squall's so bumbed about that. I can't help but be slightly amused by his situation. I don't think he's ever had a crush on a girl before. Oh except for his "vision" but don't get him started on that.

'Oh there was an angel!' I nearly laughed when he told me about that but I'd never tell anyone. Its personal and I think he'd hate me forever if I did.

This has been such a bad day! First Quisty's knocked outa action, then Rinny is too and now the Ragnarok is FUCKED!

**NORMAL POV**

Rinoa's eyes slowly fluttered open, she perched herself up on her elbows and was startled at her surroundings, till she noticed two familiar faces.

"Hey guys." Rinoa said groggily.

"RINOA!" Irvine and Zell yelled in unison.

"In the flesh." Rinoa laughed.

Zell scooped her up in a hug while Irvine patted her back, obvious not wanting to damage her anymore than she already was.

"What happened to you? When I went inside you were fine." Irvine asked once Zell had put Rinoa down.

Rinoa stared at Irvine quizzically; she bit her bottom lip and tried to think back hard.

"I-I dunno."

Squall finally made his way up to the roof. He was assessing the damage that the Ragnarok had sustained when he noticed a slight crack in the side where it had hit the water. Deciding that it wasn't substantial enough to merit immediate repair he sighed and looked out over the endless ocean. He could faintly see the Balamb continent and swore to himself. It was so close yet so far.

**Squall's POV**

Why is everything going wrong now? It was so simple before but today is just a mess. I can't do anything right.

I find myself momentarily wondering if I should check on Rinoa… and Quistis of course! I'm riddled with worry but I can't let it show, I have resigned myself to the fact that most of the people on this ship do regard me as some sort of leader and a person in that sort of position must be strong. If not for myself then for the others. I stand and make my way in a circle around the roof of the ship, staring at the ground absent mindedly as I go.

I don't really want to be alone right now but my current company is not something that I wish to deal with.

I should've visited Laguna while I was in Esthar. He would've tended to Rinoa and Quistis's conditions. But I have a bad history with Esthar and rarely visit it unless I really have to. This situation might have merited such a visit but I didn't really want to face Laguna. I still can't bear to call him Father, or any other name that would acknowledge him as such. I just can't.

How can you call a man that catapults himself into your life claiming to be your father something as important in your life as that? I think I hurt his feelings every time I call him Laguna. But he can't expect an immediate response from me. He did abandon me for… no I promised myself that I wouldn't dwell on the past. He says that there was nothing he could do… he says that he tried to find me… He's the President of Esthar though! Surely it wouldn't be that hard to locate me.

Suddenly I am thrown out of my thoughts by a hand on my shoulder. Startled I look up to see a pair of the purest brown eyes I have ever had the pleasure of staring into. If I could hold any moment, this would be it.

She's smiling a small smile and a can feel one tugging at the rims of my mouth, but I cant smile. This is no time for celebrations. But with her calm eyes settled on mine I feel tranquil, as if nothing could ever ruin this perfect moment.

SNAP OUT OF IT LEONART! Rinoa jeopardized the entire mission; she put not only her life but the life's of my crew in danger.

"Squall." She says softly.

Her voice floats into my ears like a sweet melody, caught on an early morning breeze. I close my eyes for a second and let myself enjoy this moment, before it all turns to shit.

"Rinoa." I sigh; I can't help but let the relief show in my voice.

Realizing finally that if she isn't informed than slip ups such as this can happen again, I decide that action needs to be taken… but first…

"What happened Rinoa?" I ask my voice as serious as I can make it… believe me when I say that's pretty damn serious.

"I don't know." She says back, I imagine she's had this question a lot since she woke up.

"What do you remember?" I persist.

"Well, I was covering Zell and that thing was ganna get me and you must've saved me."

I shake my head; my burrows have gone together like they always do when I'm frustrated.

"No Rinoa I didn't save you. You saved yourself. But you could've been killed! What in Hyne's name possessed you to get on this ship!" I say, my voice getting louder and louder as I go.

"I-I don't know… I just wanted to be included…"

"Well your carelessness nearly got Zell killed! And who knows what else could've happened! You're a civilian Rinoa!"

"SO WHAT! I can look after myself!"

"No Rinoa that's the thing you can't! For some fluke of nature you survived today! What about tomorrow? How long do you expect to get lucky?" I yell.

I can hear something banging behind the entrance onto the roof. Obviously Zell Irvine and Selphie. Those three were never the stealthiest people on earth.

Rinoa open and closes her mouth, each time she looks as though she's about to start another assault but stops herself.

"You are not to try and assist anyone in any further missions. Is that clear Miss Heartilly." I say her name, making every syllable sharper than the last.

She looks hurt, I can tell. Believe me, when your personalities like mine you get used to hurting people and you get used to the tell tale signs. But for some reason it hurts me to. I can't believe that I'm flipping out like this. I didn't intend to flip out like this. I was going to sit her down and explain to her the importance of not getting involved in things of this sort but this just got out of hand. If she just stopped retaliated to everything I said then maybe I'd stop yelling at her.

Her eyes have welled up and her mouth is open, suppressing a gasp, I suppose.

"Transparently!" she screams before she storms off back inside the ship.

I hear the entrance door slam and hear her footsteps stomping down the stairs.

I remain quite calm, staring at the way she left. Then I screw my face up, throw my hands up in the air and scream… "FUCK!"


	8. The Leader of the Pack

**By myself but not Alone**

**The leader of the pack**

Vroom vroom.

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8.

Squall paced around his office, it seemed that this action was taking place more and more since Rinoa had turned up. She hadn't talked to him since they'd gotten back. Using the radio inside the cockpit they were able to contact Balamb Garden and inform them of their situation.

Since Rinoa and Squall's fight two days had passed. It seemed that he had upset her more than he had originally thought, Squall thinking that she'd be over it by now.

He didn't exactly understand why she got so offended by it but he didn't exactly understand the inner workings of women. One subject he was happy to be in the dark about.

He glanced over at his one companion, one person he wished would just leave, the last person on earth that he wanted to be near him.

"Seifer don't you have something more important to be attending to. I didn't let you back into Garden just so you could loaf around." Squall snarled.

Seifer smirked from his sitting position. He sat at Squall's desk with his feet up on his desk, his hands clasped in front of him comfortably.

"Fujin and Raijin have the situation under control. Besides watching you is so much more entertaining." Seifer laughed.

Squall glared at Seifer but decided that the best course of action was to ignore him. He knew that Seifer knew about the fight, he'd seen Rinoa go running to Seifer.

He had an unfamiliar emotion about that, he couldn't quite place what it was but he was starting to suspect that it was jealousy.

'_Squall Leonhart doesn't get jealous.' _He kept telling himself.

But he couldn't help but want to ask Seifer what it was she had said to him. If Seifer told him then he might be able to work out what he could do to remedy the situation.

He sat down on one of the guest chairs, deciding that getting Seifer out of his chair was going to be too much of a mission. Seifer liked to feel superior.

"Why don't you just talk to her?" Seifer scoffed.

"Because I am in the right! She has to apologise to me." Squall replied quickly.

He kept trying to convince himself of this, his mind thinking the thought over and over again, unfortunately it didn't change the fact that he felt like a prat.

"You don't look like that's the way you feel." Seifer said.

Seifer took his legs down from Squall's desk and stood, Squall remained in his sitting position, having felt no threat from Seifer's change in position. A lot of people were still frightened of Seifer after what he had done but he insisted that it was the sorceress controlling him.

Squall wasn't too sure if that was true. Seifer had gone on about his "romantic dream" that one time and it was obvious that being the Sorceress's knight was it. it wasn't really up to Squall at the end of the day anyway, it was up to Cid and no matter what Squall said the fact that Seifer was back in Garden wasn't going to change.

Seifer had made himself at home again, naturally. He had regained his position of Garden disciplinary committee leader and somehow his posse had rejoined as well. Everything had almost gone back to normal, bar the fact that Squall was now Garden commander and Rinoa was screwing everything up.

"I thought a Commander was supposed to be more focused; you're not showing great leadership Squall." Seifer chuckled.

"Can you please go and annoy Quistis or something?" Squall sighed.

Seifer had made quite a habit of annoying Quistis, since he'd gotten back anyway not that he didn't before but now that she wasn't his instructor he did it more profusely.

"She's awake?" Seifer asked a glimmer in his eyes that wasn't there before.

"Yes."

Without another word Seifer was gone. Squall suspected that he liked her a little more than he'd care to admit but wouldn't dream of saying anything. For Quistis's sake more than his own.

As Seifer opened the door to leave it burst open, General Caraway stood before Squall's office, glaring menacingly at both of them.

"Shouldn't you be attending to your duties?" Caraway growled at Seifer.

"I was having a meeting with Commander Leonhart. Just going back to it." Seifer said, suppressing all his urges to cause bodily damage to the General.

As he walked away he mouthed the word "Psycho" behind the general's back.

Squall bit his lip trying to ignore Seifer.

"Yes General?" Squall asked as he got up from the guest seat and took his seat behind his desk.

It was an obvious way of showing the general that he was in his territory. His body language said it all and Caraway was aware of that. Since Caraway had gotten into Garden he had done nothing but make Squall's life hard.

"I heard about your accident while recovering Miss Trepe." Caraway said nonchalantly.

Squall nodded, wondering what Caraway's angle was.

"I also heard that Rinoa was onboard at the time." Caraway continued.

The same response was received from Squall.

"And that there were over a dozen people that went on that mission and only one was saved."

'_Where's this going?' _Squall thought, Caraway was being far to calm about it.

"So you endangered my daughter's life for the life of one person!" Caraway yelled.

Squall was shocked, he was disgusted, and he was absolutely astounded.

"Excuse me General Caraway but I don't think that I understand you. You mean to say that Rinoa is more important that one of my SeeD's? More important that one of the SeeD's that saved time itself?" squall enquired.

"That's exactly what I'm saying!"

"I should think that neither is more important. And also I was unaware of Rinoa's presence on our ship."

Caraway walked briskly towards Squall's desk. Squall reached over under his desk and grasped the handle of his Gunblade, merely as a caution. Should Caraway strike out Squall wasn't sure if he was going to be able to take him down without the help of his Gunblade.

"Now you listen here Mr Leonhart." Caraway whispered menacingly, leaning against Squall's desk as he spoke, "Should you put Rinoa in peril of any kind ever again I will see to it that you are executed."

"You don't have the power." Squall scoffed.

"I do once Galbadia hears that you personally tried to execute President Deling."

Now Squall was taking Caraway very seriously. Should that happen then that would mean the end of his existence, he had heard of what Deling had done to people for mere offences. An attempt on his life would mean being tortured… again.

"Prove it." Squall said quietly before he walked out of the office.

Beneath his cool exterior was another story though, he was worried. If Caraway actually did then it was not only the end of him but the end of Garden itself. Once he had been captured Garden would be turned into rubble, they'd have to find a new position but while Caraway was onboard that was useless. It was useless anyway, Galbadia was one of the biggest continents in the world, hiding from it was futile.

Rinoa suddenly felt a terrible feeling; she hadn't felt something so powerful since… since her mother had been murdered.

She shuddered, hoping that it was just her being paranoid but couldn't shake the feeling off.

She smiled at Selphie and Quistis as they both gave her worried glances, it appeared Irvine and Zell hadn't noticed Rinoa's mood change. But men weren't in tune to these things like females were.

Rinoa politely excused herself and decided that she would make her way to her room. She smiled at passers by, waiting for their smiles in return. She had come to know Garden as quite a friendly place, with a few exceptions, eg: Squall.

She couldn't say that she was really still angry at him, she had gotten over it but he had made no attempt to apologise or to set things right. He'd just avoided her.

He had hurt her, she couldn't deny that. He made her feel as though her presence was a burden, just when she was beginning to feel as though she was accepted.

All she'd gone up to say to Squall was thankyou, thankyou for saving her life. It had blown up in her face and she couldn't shake off the feeling that Squall had meant every word. She was a firm believer that people said things in the heat of the moment that they didn't mean, she was a prime example a lot of the time, but Squall just seemed as though he intended to say everything he did.

Everything he did seemed to have a purpose, like instead of just looking at today's results he was more worried about tomorrows. She finally really understood why he was commander, why everyone looked up to him like they did and why he was so respected.

It wasn't that he demanded respect, he didn't exactly act any different from everyone else, it was the fact that he just seemed so together.

She knew different though, she knew that it was an act and that nobody could really have everything under control. But with Squall it just seemed as though he could stop the weather if he wanted to.

'_Speak of the devil.' _Rinoa thought as she noticed Squall walking towards her.

He looked extremely pissed off, and that was an understatement. He hadn't even bothered to conceal his Gunblade and Rinoa was positive that he was walking to the training centre. Students were moving out of his way and anyone who was a little late getting out of the way would be pushed aside.

"Squall?" Rinoa said as he approached her.

She saw something then, as she said his name and he finally became aware of her presence. There was something behind his eyes, it wasn't the cold look that she was used to, it was something more that she hadn't seen before… or maybe she hadn't wanted to. There was guilt behind his eyes; the kind that she knew was directed towards her.

"Your talking to me today." He stated blandly.

"I guess so." Rinoa said slowly.

She couldn't stop staring at his eyes. She had her moth agape a little and her eyes stared into his, accusing him and he could feel it.

He turned away from her, refusing to continue this stare-athon.

"Well I guess I will see you later." Squall concluded.

Rinoa watched him go, she was perplexed and it masked her otherwise soft features. She didn't stop staring at his figure till it had turned a corner. Even then she didn't move. She felt something then that she hadn't felt before.

'_What have you done…?' _

**Later that night**

Rinoa lay on her bed staring blankly at the ceiling. People would think that she was merely bored or something if it wasn't for the single tear that was tracing its way down to her pillow.

Everything was going so well, she hadn't missed her mother for awhile and she had made heaps of friends. Then there was Squall. She didn't like to think of him as a friend, she liked to think he was something more.

She knew that she was kidding herself to think so but she liked to pretend. Not all that seemed like a distant memory. It seemed that Squall was angry at her and she missed her mother terribly.

She heard a faint knock on her door and stood slowly, wiping her face, to answer it.

She opened the door quickly and made a fake yawn to pretend that her puffy eyes were due to the fact that she had been sleeping.

"Caraway!" She exclaimed when she saw her father standing at the door.

He grimaced for a second; loathing the fact that she called him that. Nobody did, he'd prefer it if she called him General but decided that he wouldn't mention it for now.

"I have come to form a truce." Caraway said quickly, before Rinoa's brain had time to register and she slammed the door in his face. "I wish to speak with you. I can tell that you are not decent at the moment so if tomorrow would be better for you then that is fine."

Rinoa weighed up her options. On the one hand she had the man that she reviled more than anyone else, until she found out who killed her mother, yet on the other he was the only family she had.

"Fine. Where and when?"

"In the library at noon."

Rinoa nodded and shut the door without saying goodbye. She wasn't feeling like showing a lot of manners towards him.

**About an hour later**

Rinoa had resumed her position of lying on her bed, no tears were there now. Her mind wasn't on her mother; it was on why her father would want to talk to her. She supposed that he had accepted the fact that she was his daughter and they needed to get along.

As before she heard another knock on her door, she supposed that it was Caraway again, deciding to that he didn't want to talk to her. That was fine by her, she didn't need him, she didn't need anyone.

Once the door was opened she was even more shocked than before to see Squall.

"Squall?" She exclaimed, much the same way as she had acted when Caraway had been at the door.

"May I come in?" Squall enquired.

He seemed nervous, it was one of the first times she'd seen him nervous since she'd been here. Intrigued by this new event she held the door open wider and allowed him entrance.

He glanced around her humble room, she supposed that he had expected better. He took a seat on one of the few seats available. Rinoa sat down on her bed and looked at him expectantly.

"Right… I guess I'm sorry Rinoa. I didn't mean to go off at you like that it's just that you can't just come on missions like that." Squall said, choosing his words very carefully.

Rinoa nodded solemnly, she had her head to the floor and her hands clasped together resting on her crossed legs.

"It won't happen again." Rinoa said quietly.

Squall nodded and began to stand. He looked down at his watch and was about to say his goodbyes but Rinoa didn't feel like letting him leave just yet.

"Why did you go feral like that?" Rinoa asked.

Squall didn't quite understand at first, he was used to feral being used in the text of an untamed animal or monster but soon clicked that she meant his anger level.

"I- uhhh- I don't know." Squall stuttered.

Rinoa giggled and stood, she approached him, a small smile placed on her delicate lips.

Rinoa stood in front of him, very close to him and he felt very uncomfortable. He swallowed and let out a breath that he was unaware that he had been holding. He had women around him all the time, and yes a lot of them would like nothing better than for him to ravish their awaiting bodies. But no one like Rinoa. He hadn't felt for anyone like he did her.

"Are you sure?" Rinoa enquired.

She began playing with the fur on his collar and Squall didn't quite know what to do.

"I- I guess I was… worried." Squall muttered.

Rinoa leaned in closer and Squall leaned back, he felt sweat at the back of his neck and wanted to leave. But he couldn't.

Finally wrenching himself out of his trance he took one last look at Rinoa before saying.

"Well I better go seeya."

Rinoa bit her bottom lip and fell down on her bed, she had a huge goofy grin on her face and was glad that she had gotten the desired affect from Squall. She'd never seen him squirm like that before. But she was a vindictive bitch and she felt as though she got her revenge for him yelling at her.

Squall leaned against the closed door for support and panted, his face felt flushed and he ran a sweaty hand through his hair.

He frowned at the feeling and decided that a shower would be the right course of action… but maybe a cold one.


	9. You're a reject and you're no one and yo...

**By myself but not Alone**

**You're a reject and you're no one and you're nothing**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8

Selphie lay on the floor, clutching her stomach as pain started to overcome it. her face had turned beet red and her loud cackling had been going for at least five minutes.

Quistis sat at the end of Rinoa's bed, suppressing her laughter, unsuccessfully, behind her gloved hand.

Meanwhile Rinoa glared at them both.

"It's not really that funny!" Rinoa finally exclaimed.

"Well what did you think he wanted?" Selphie laughed.

"I DUNNO!" Rinoa yelled.

She'd just told Quistis and Selphie about her failure to succeed with Squall. She hadn't realised how humorous it had been till she'd heard their reactions.

"Now Selphie," Quistis started but she started laughing again and had to stop to take several deep breaths. "We can't make fun, Rinoa obviously feels some powerful…" she trailed off before laughter over took her.

"Oh would you two just shut up! I don't know why I even told you." Rinoa snapped.

She exited the room and went into her kitchen thingy… well she supposed it was a kitchen, it had all the necessary things that a kitchen was supposed to have… it was a bit bland though.

"It's alright Rinoa." Quistis said as she came in, she placed one hand on Rinoa's shoulder and took a deep breath, "We've all fell under Squall's spell before."

"Not me!" Selphie called out from the other room.

Rinoa chose to ignore Selphie's outburst deciding that it wasn't worth commenting on, whereas Quistis's remark was much more delicious.

"What do you mean 'we've all fell under Squall's spell'?"

Quistis opened her mouth and closed it again; she put her finger in the air, making her look much more like an instructor than usual. She appeared to be looking for an answer but without fail Selphie decided to speak up.

"Quistis was in _love_ with Squall for like ten years!"

"I beg your pardon! It was nowhere near ten years… it was more like eight."

Quistis's voice went more and more silent as she completed the sentence, it was obviously not a subject that she took much pride in gloating about.

"You and Squall! Did anything ever happen?" Rinoa prayed that nothing did.

"NO! I'd never go there with Squall! And he kinda ignored me most of the time."

Rinoa's heart sank… not because she wanted something to happen between the two more because if Quistis couldn't get Squall how the hell did she have a chance? Quistis was everything that little girls hope they grow up to be. She was beautiful, talented, intelligent, elegant and enchanting.

"Well there go my chances." Rinoa sighed.

"What do you mean?" Selphie enquired.

She sat down on top of the kitchen counter and Quistis frowned at her. People had to prepare their food off that! Selphie ignored Quistis and remained seated, pretending not to notice.

"Well Quistis could have anyone she wanted in the entire world and it shows that Squall has incredibly high standards!"

Quistis shook her head, she took Rinoa's hand in her own and Rinoa looked up into her eyes. Quistis had a small smile on her face and was obviously flattered by Rinoa's statement, even if she already knew it.

"No Rinoa, it shows that Squall isn't shallow." She dropped her hands and rested her own on her hips, "besides, I'm glad. I've got other things in my sights."

"Yeah like Sei-" Selphie was cut off with a jab to her ribs.

It was apparent that Quistis wasn't yet open to disclosing who that someone was.

**Meanwhile**

"You what!" Irvine laughed.

Zell was rolling around on the ground of the training centre, an exact replica of what Selphie had been earlier. Irvine stood with a disgusted look on his face.

"I don't know! She just pounced on me! I panicked!" Squall replied, keeping an eye out for stray monsters as he did so.

They were in the habitat of T-Rexaur's so they had to be alert. Should one appear and surprise them then it could be big trouble. Not that they were the stealthiest of creatures.

"Dude, that is weak." Zell finally panted out.

Squall glared at him but didn't retort, he knew that it was "weak" even if that wasn't the terms that he may put it in.

"Y'know you've been ranting about this chick since she got here and now when you finally have a chance with her you dodge out!" Irvine stated.

"I have not 'ranted' about her! I've mentioned her a couple of times!" Squall defended.

He didn't like the situation he was in. he knew it was a mistake to tell his friends about this. Squall Leonhart didn't get crushes and to let anyone know of such a thing seemed wrong but he'd needed someone to talk to. Who better than Irvine? As it turned out he wasn't as in tune with women as he thoughts, but who could dash his little dreams?

"This in normal people would be like a million. You don't talk about anyone." Zell stated.

"Who are you to lecture me about women?" Squall asked, "Your choice in females isn't exactly what most people would call sane."

"How was I to know she'd turn out to be a stalker?"

"It might've been better if you learnt her name before going out with her. Did you refer to her as 'the library girl with a pigtail'?" Irvine laughed.

Soon they were thrown into battle against a young T-Rexaur. Not the most formidable of foes but a challenge nonetheless.

**Elsewhere**

"So are you going to meet with your father?" Quistis asked once they'd gotten over the conversation of her love life.

"No." Rinoa replied simply.

She knew that she had agreed to meet with him; she knew that she should but she didn't want to. She'd successfully ignored him for awhile and intended to keep it that way.

"I think you should." Selphie said quickly.

"Why?" Rinoa exclaimed.

She took it as an insult really, she knew that he didn't care for her and the fact that they even suggested for her to have anything to do with her was preposterous.

"Rinoa… I think you should… I father is a luxury some of us don't have. Even if it is one that we don't particularly like." Quistis said.

Rinoa understood, she had heard that most of her friends didn't have parents. Most of the people in Garden didn't have parents. It was a thing that had become quite common since the sorceress war.

"I understand Quistis but I don't need him. We'll talk when we have to leave I suppose."

Rinoa's leaving; it was a subject that most of them had strayed far from. It was apparent that she would be leaving at some point but none of them wanted to admit that. It was obvious that she wasn't going to stay here and become a SeeD, not Rinoa. The life of a SeeD wasn't suited for someone like her, she couldn't do it. It wasn't that she didn't have the skills; everyone did, while some people were more gifted than others everyone could train themselves up. Rinoa was just gentle. She wasn't appropriate for the hard life of a mercenary.

"Yes I suppose you shall…" Quistis trailed off.

The three girls had become quite close in the last couple of weeks. Rinoa was the part of the group that was missing, now it was Selphie and Quistis with the boys it was a group. She complimented the group and made it more than that; she made it more like a friendship. It wasn't a group of people that had been thrust together through the hardships of there lives. It was a group of people that generally enjoyed each others company and she made things seem normal. With her around they felt like normal teenagers who could enjoy their lives just like any other.

**Inside Principal Cid's office**

Cid asked his assistant Nada to call Squall up to the main office; Caraway had just been inside and had told him that he would be interviewing each SeeD individually. Squall was clearly going to get the most vigorous questioning because if anyone knew anything about the attempted assassination he would. He would've had to assemble the crew to do it or would've been on the crew for such a top priority mission.

Cid was worried, he didn't like the situation he was in. he knew that Caraway suspected Squall, it was apparent in the way he had talked about him.

Caraway had specifically said that he wanted to interview Squall first. Hopeful that if he cracked Squall then all investigations could cease.

Squall entered the room, smelling of sweat and grime. He had dry blood on his cheek and his gunblade was at his side.

"Good training session?" Cid enquired.

Squall nodded and sat down on one of the seats. He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, tired from forceful training.

"Squall, at 1400 hours General Caraway is going to begin interviewing SeeD's. You will be the first. I have the upmost confidence in you. Keep this quiet and stay calm. I know that you will set a high bar for the rest of the SeeD's." Cid said.

Squall nodded. He looked a little worried but not overly. Caraway had to know that asking SeeD's would get him nowhere. SeeD's were trained in more than questioning. They were trained to keep their cool in torture situations and even if they did know something then no one would ever find out.

"Yes Sir."

"Caraway is going to go pretty hard on you. Expect the worst and don't let anything surprise you."

**Let the interviews begin**

Caraway walked towards the Library, it had been cleared out so only him and a couple of officers would be in there. It was paramount that no one heard or knew the questions that were going to be asked, if it should leak out then people would be ready.

He walked inside to find Squall already sitting at a chair, ready for anything that might be said. Caraway grinned; he was quite looking forward to this. He and Squall had a history and he knew for a fact that Squall was in the business of assassinations. One failed mission of assassination on Sorceress Edea Kramer was a prime example.

"Commander Leonhart." Caraway said formally.

Squall nodded, he never saluted Caraway. It had been noticed and he had been asked to on several occasions, each time he had ignored the suggestion.

"Shall we begin?"

Once again Squall nodded.

He had already checked out the room. At each corner stood a guard and two more were at the back of the Library. He suspected it was for the more interesting interrogations and he suspected that this might be one of them.

"Where were your whereabouts on the night of President Deling's attempted assassination?" Caraway asked.

He sat down on a seat near Squall. Squall knew why too. This was his attempt at making it look at comfortable as possible. If he was standing and walking around Squall might feel intimidated and that didn't come till much later.

"I believe I had a late night in my office. I have several people who can verify this."

"Commander, all I want is the truth. Once the truth is found out we can leave." Caraway stated.

"So that you can destroy my Garden."

"So you're saying that the truth might lead to this?" Caraway retorted quickly.

Squall smiled a rarity indeed but this was the sort of situation where he shone.

"No, I'm saying your truth could lead to this unfortunate event to happen."

"Is he in there now?" Zell asked.

"Yeah, I hope this isn't too bad." Selphie replied.

She was quite nervous; the prospect of a dirty old man yelling at her wasn't too appealing.

"It could be worse. If he's already emotionally charged because of Rinoa's failure to show up when he asked her to meet him might make things hard." Quistis sighed.

Rinoa looked sheepishly at the ground. She hadn't wanted to make things hard for them but she supposed that Caraway and she were sorta fighting for the same cause.

She desperately wanted to know who killed her mother and he wanted to know who tried to kill Deling. The thought that it could've been any of her friends never dawned on her. They couldn't do something like that. That just wasn't them… but if it had been… could she be angry? Of course she could but it's not like they had been emotionally attached to their job. That's all it was and whoever they were killing it was bound to be someone's mother… she found herself wondering how many families her friends had orphaned.

She soon found these thoughts to be too much, they couldn't do that… but they could've. They wouldn't tell her, why would they? She was the daughter of the guy that was trying to accuse them all, they wouldn't tell her.

"I have to go." Rinoa stated.

She didn't look at them as she left, she couldn't. The kind faces that she had gotten to know couldn't be responsible for that.

Rinoa knew where she was going, straight to the Library. Everyone knew that they were being held there and she knew that she needed to talk to Caraway. Anything he knew she wanted to know too. Anything that was found out at these interrogations she wanted to find out as well.

She burst inside, nearly being tackled by the various guards, but they soon realised that it was Rinoa and backed off.

"Caraway!" Rinoa yelled.

Both Squall and Caraway looked at her, shocked looks on both their faces. It seemed that neither had suspected this event to take place.

"I need to be here." Rinoa stated.

"No you don't, get out!" Caraway snarled at her.

Rinoa was going to back down, she was going to follow the order but she realised that Caraway had no power over her. He wasn't a General to her and he wasn't a Father to her either, she could do what she liked.

"No." Rinoa said, she held her chin up in defiance and grimaced.

"Rinoa, this isn't where your supposed to be." Squall said.

"Don't you want to find out who killed your mother? Now this has to be postponed because of your interference!" Caraway growled.

Squall gave him a side glance, not liking the tone he was using but knowing that he couldn't do anything about it.

"Why?"

"This is a place where we are…" Caraway stopped himself; he nearly started explaining to Rinoa about breaking people down.

Of course he knew that Squall more than likely knew the procedure but didn't want to take any chances.

Squall was fed up with the procedure anyway, he was quite enjoying himself before but didn't expect the other SeeD's to take it quite like he had.

"I've had enough anyway. Balamb Garden is not responsible for this assassination. I will not allow anymore interviews to take place. Should you do so anyway you and your investigators can vacate."

Squall stood and gently took Rinoa's hand, making her exit with him. Caraway grabbed Squall wrist and held him back.

"If I go then you will admit your guilt on this matter… and Rinoa will go to." Caraway whispered.

This thought hadn't even dawned on Squall. He was aware that he was putting the Garden in jeopardy but knew that they could vacate the area and find a new one… but Rinoa leaving…

_Y'know cause Squall's got those issues with people leaving him and stuff. Well that's all for today anyway. But the next update might not be too soon cause my best friends here from the other side of the country and stuff. I'll try though, maybe if I'm really inspired… _


	10. So I dub thee unforgiven

**By myself but not Alone**

**So I dub thee unforgiven**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8

IMPORTANT! Unfortunately I regret to announce that updates are ganna take awhile at the moment. Believe me when I say that I'm pissed off to, but I'm trying to fight the system on this one but it's not going too well. I'll update when I can though.

**RINOA'S POV**

Squall's not talking to me… well its not that he isn't talking to me it's just that he's full on avoiding me. No one's telling me why either, I nearly got it out of Zell the other day but then Quistis came along and ruined everything.

I don't understand it; I thought that we were sweet with each other again, apparently not.

I sigh, deciding that these thoughts aren't getting me anywhere. I've been thinking about my situation with Squall since we had that fight on the Ragnarok and so far it's not getting me anywhere.

I can see Seifer approaching me and I smile at him. So far he's been a really good friend to me, bar the fact that I never really see him. He's always busy, much like Squall.

"Hi Seifer." I say happily, throwing all my former emotions to the wind.

He nods but doesn't say anything; it's his way of saying hi. Much like all the boys do to each other.

"I heard you and your lover boy are on the rocks." Seifer says nonchalantly.

I know he's not jealous or anything, Seifer and I happened a long time ago and we both know that we just don't feel that way about each other anymore. Well not completely, I do admit he's hot and he's got a body that could melt ice but I've grown up a bit since we went out and I realise that it takes more than a godlike body to create a working relationship.

"He's not my lover boy Seifer." I say sternly.

I can't let on that I like him to Seifer, even if we are over each other, Seifer would take too much pleasure in giving me shit about it.

"Yeah whatever, everyone's talking about it. Apparently you're pregnant." Seifer laughed.

"WHAT! I haven't even kissed him or anything!" I exclaim.

I know I know, I should laugh it off but c'mon! This place is worse than my high school.

"That's not what I heard…"

My conversation with Seifer is cut short as a couple of cadet girls walk past, they glance at me for a second or two before huddling together as they walk and giggling.

The part that shocked me was the glare that I was sent, if looks could kill…

"What the hell was that about?" I enquire.

I don't even know who the hell those girls are and here they are scowling at me like I've slept with their boyfriend… oh geez.

"Squall's popular isn't he." I sigh, not letting Seifer bother answer.

Seifer nods before going back to checking the two girls out. I've noticed in my time here that he is a rampant flirt. Not half as bad as Irvine though.

"You chose possibly the worst candidate for your love interest. Mainly because every other girl in this place did as well. Apparently the bad boy things out and the 'I'm the commander of a military academy' is in."

"Since when?" I ask.

"Since Squall got promoted from SeeD to Commander. SeeD was in before that." Seifer chuckled.

I know why he finds it so humorous. After my continuing contact with Squall I know that he doesn't really enjoy people fawning over him and the fact that the female population are doing just that would bug the living shit out of him. Any other guy on earth would love it but Squall weird like that.

"You don't suppose he's gay do you?" I ask, the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

I don't honestly think that, he's far too sexy for that. But as the saying goes… all the best women are married, all the handsome men are gay.

"Squall? I don't think so… he doesn't come off that way."

**SQUALL'S POV**

"You fucking faggot."

I glare menacingly at Irvine; I'm seriously contemplating causing some damage to his face but decide against it. As commander I have a certain level of maturity to live up to and making a public scene with Irvine isn't going to do my reputation any good.

"I shouldn't have said anything!" I burst out.

I'm very confused at the moment and Irvine isn't helping. Why do I always come to this man for advice? All he does is frustrate me.

"Well what did you think I was ganna say?"

I groan, I knew this was coming but I spose I wanted to talk to someone. I know that everyone… well everyone that matters… well almost everyone that matters, know why I'm being such a prat to Rinoa.

I would've been better to talk to Quistis.

"Why don't you just get over this whole leaving thing?" Irvine says, I think he's reading my mind or something.

Nah Irvine doesn't have the mind control for something like that… he doesn't have any special talents like that, unless being a constant pain in the ass is a talent. Zell manages to do it pretty well.

"Fuck it, I'm not having this conversation with you."

I start walking away and I can hear Irvine laughing behind me but I don't really want to turn around and tell him to shut up, I don't really want to turn around and tell him anything.

'_If I were Quistis… where would I be…?' _

After about fifteen minutes of searching I find her. She's where she always is, in the infirmary.

"Quistis, I need to have words with you." I say as formally as I can.

I don't want to let on that I need her girly advice! Once again I have a reputation!

"Let me guess. You don't know what to do with Rinoa." Dr Kadowaki says from her desk.

I groan loudly and put my head in my hands, if she knows then everyone must.

"How the hell do you know?"

"I'll ask you not to cuss in here please Squall." Dr Kadowaki scowls.

I apologise but urge her to go on.

"Everyone is talking about it." she replies casually.

"Whats the immediate problem, the amount of rumours I've heard I need to be put up to speed with the truth." Quistis cuts in.

"Rinoa's departure."

"I thought so. Why don't you just spend all the time you can with her?" Quistis enquires.

"Whats the point? She's just going to leave; wouldn't it be better to just leave her alone?"

Quistis chuckles for awhile, apparently finding something incredibly funny, I can't see what the hell that could be but Quistis is strange. Actually come to think of it… what the hell is wrong with **all** my friends?

"You act as though you thought she'd be here forever. You knew as well as I did that as soon as Caraway was done here that she was going to leave. Maybe if we're lucky she'll visit… if there's still a Garden to visit…" Quistis trailed off.

She'd heard the same thing that I had; apparently Caraway had found sufficient evidence to destroy Balamb Garden. There was no conformation of this though but it was enough to almost send Garden into a panic. I was hoping that this information hadn't leaked out yet… apparently I was wrong.

I know protocol though, as soon as Caraway and Rinoa are gone well move… and Rinoa will never see me again… I will never see Rinoa again…

The life of a SeeD…

I nod, deciding that this conversation is getting a little depressing I turn to leave.

"Squall!" Quistis calls out after me. "She really cares about you; remember that the next time you talk to her."

**NORMAL POV… the next day**

Squall walked through the narrow corridors of Garden; he was on his way to the Training Centre for an early morning work out. He didn't have time to think about his current predicaments when he was killing a furiosus monster.

Squall's head perked up when he heard footsteps behind him, they sounding a lot like Rinoa's boots.

'_Yeah right… how ironic would it be if it was Rinoa! She's never up at this time anyway…' _Squall thought as he looked over his shoulder to see who it was.

Paradoxically it was none other than Rinoa Heartilly. She smiled weakly at him and waved, apparently she'd known he was there for quite some time.

"Morning." She said as she approached him.

"Good Morning." Squall replied.

They both looked uncomfortable for awhile, not quite knowing what to say. Squall was going to just end the conversation there and keep going to the Training Centre but Rinoa had other plans.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Rinoa enquired quietly.

She had her head down and was unwilling to look at Squall. He was somewhat thankful for this for if she did he doubted that he could lie. Rinoa just had that affect on him.

"I'm not. I've been very busy lately."

"That's not true." Rinoa stated.

Squall sighed; he didn't really want to have this conversation but knew that it was unavoidable at this present time. But Squall was a master of dodging certain subjects, his feelings being one of these.

"Listen, I'm just on my way to train at the moment, I'll catch up with you later."

**Later on that afternoon**

"I just don't know what the hell is wrong with him. I thought we were all good but then he just turned." Rinoa sighed.

She was sitting in the cafeteria, enjoying an early dinner with Selphie and Quistis, both of whom had a couple of days off from their usual work. They'd been bragging to Irvine and Zell about it earlier that day, how they applied for it and were looking forward to a hard night of partying in Balamb later. Selphie said it was their way of making sure that they'd be there.

"Squall's just fucked up, I wouldn't worry about him. Besides he'll be with us tonight, talk to him when he's got a couple of drinks down him." Selphie said as she shovelled her tiny mouth with food.

"Why? Whats happening tonight?" Rinoa enquired.

"Has no bastard told you? Fuck they're slack!" Selphie cursed.

"Selphie! Young ladies don't talk like that!" Quistis scowled, "Selphie and I have been planning to have a 'girl's night out' for the past two months. You see we have to apply for days off at least two week prior to when we want it off. Unfortunately for us usually the boys decide to crash our night out because-"

"They're big tough men and they don't need a day off after they drink!" Selphie cut in.

"I wasn't aware that SeeD's have time off." Rinoa stated.

"Well generally they don't but it's just like any other job, we can have days off and we have sick days and whatnot." Quistis replied.

Rinoa nodded, she supposed it was just like any other job… bar the fact that the work criteria may be slightly different to most other jobs.

"I'm sorry no one told you Rinny." Selphie said solemnly.

"It's alright Selph, I'm starting to get used to it."

**EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT**

Rinoa slipped on the same white dress she wore to the concert weeks earlier. She went through the same dilemma that accompanied that dress last time.

'_Oh could that ass get any bigger!' _Rinoa thought.

She sucked in her stomach and stood in front of her full length mirror, staring at her reflection. She heard a knock on the door and yelled out for whoever it was to come in. she knew that it would be Selphie and Quistis, they'd said that they'd come and get here before they left.

"Oh no Rinny you cant wear that!" Selphie groaned.

Rinoa glanced at their reflections in the mirror and understood why. She was completely over dressed and she looked completely out of place with them.

Selphie wore black sleeveless top with a slanted hem at the bottom that started just below her breasts on one side and ended beside her hips on the other. She accompanied this with a pair of white short shorts and black boots. She had heaps of gold jewellery on and her hair had been straightened so it didn't flip out at the bottom anymore.

Rinoa was quite shocked at Selphie's look, she wasn't the cute, cuddly Selphie Rinoa was used to seeing bounce around Garden. She looked like a sexy siren Selphie, it was quite a change.

Quistis on the other hand was quite a shocker as well and Rinoa suddenly fully understood how she got a fan club. She wore a pair of black hipster flared leather pants that clung to her perfect figure till her knee's then flared out. Rinoa could see a pair of chunky boots underneath her pants that were somewhat intimidating. As well as these she had an Ivory knit close-fitting midriff top on with some sort of flower or leaf pattern knitted into it. It didn't have a back just beaded straps to hold it up and it contrasted elegantly with her pants. Her hair was left out but straightened as well so that it went down to at least the middle of her back.

'_Hey… if this is what they're wearing… I wonder what Squall will be wearing…' _Rinoa found herself thinking.

"Uhhh… I dunno if I own clothes like that." Rinoa muttered.

"It's alright Rinny, don't panic… me and Quistis have heaps of clothes like this!"

**47 minutes later**

Rinoa had had a lot of different opinions on the clothing that they had pulled out. Selphie's clothes mainly consisted of barely there outfits that Rinoa doubted she would ever have the confidence to pull off and Quistis's were usually a little too girly. In the end they just led her to the closet and told her to choose her own damn outfit.

She came out with a pink and black lace midriff top that showed a fair bit of cleavage, something Rinoa didn't even think she had! She had a black suit jacket on that she left one button done up below her breasts. Underneath these she had a pair of tight faded jeans that flared out at the bottoms; you could just see the top of her girly underwear with miraculously matched her lace top. She had also chosen a hat; it was a black bucket cap that she had slanted to the side. She'd left her hair out, as per usual, and had a pair of black pointed heels.

She had to admit, she was dressed a little more conservatively than her SeeD friends, but she was too self-conscious.

"That'll have to do." Quistis said as she walked over to Rinoa and played with her hair for a little bit.

"Ha ha, they're your clothes." Rinoa said sarcastically.

"Well don't worry about old hag bitch there; I think you look very sexy." Selphie stated.

"Can we go now?" Quistis said, it was more of a command then a question.

She grabbed her handbag and started out the door.

Selphie rolled her eyes and started after her; Rinoa took one last fleeting look at herself and sighed. She took a deep breath and walked behind the pair.

Rinoa wasn't aware that SeeD's had their own cars, well apparently they did… and nice ones at that. They were in Quistis's car, she said that they wouldn't be driving back but they'd go and get it in the morning. She said that the walk home was half the fun.

Rinoa didn't understand how walking along a path, drunk could be fun. Not to mention the fact that if you strayed from the path, as you probably would, you'd be attacked by monsters. Not terribly nasty monsters but monsters nonetheless.

They parked near the docks in Balamb and they exited the car. Rinoa noticed Selphie and Quistis staring at a black car that was parked nearby.

"Well it looks like they're already here." Quistis stated.

"That's Squall's car." Selphie whispered to Rinoa who nodded.

They made their way towards a random door that was along a long line of buildings. Rinoa could already hear the loud thumping music; it was much different from what was being played at the concert when she'd first got to Garden. This was more, bassy… more like…

"This is a metal club!" Rinoa exclaimed.

She now completely understood exactly why her dress wasn't appropriate.

"Yes and no. it plays good music but they're isn't really a great population of Goths or punks or anything like that in Balamb. The council has tried to shut it down so many times but due to its popularity they haven't been able to. It's the best club in town… in my opinion anyway." Quistis explained.

Rinoa thought she understood, but not really. What was the point in having a club like this in a town that didn't have any people that were into the music, or as she would find out the setting inside? How wrong she was.

Once inside Rinoa noticed that they had to go down a flight of stairs, along the stairs were a couple of bouncers and some random seedy looking dude. The first thing she noticed was standing on a stage sort of setting was a man doing fire tricks, he was currently juggling fire sticks and seemed to be doing it in time with the music.

Along the walls were holes in the walls with people dancing inside them and the floor looked like a chess board. There was a DJ behind a glass shield in one of the holes in the wall and along the bar were a bunch of fire shots… which was where they found Zell Irvine and Squall.

Selphie walked over to them and kissed Irvine on the cheek, he smiled at her, his mouth slanted in a sort of half grin. He was drunk.

Beside him Zell took another fire shot, blowing the fire out before he took it. He whipped his mouth and he too grinned… sorta…

Rinoa pushed her way through the people, they were everywhere! Quistis and Selphie had somehow managed to make there way through them without much difficulty but Rinoa was having a great time trying.

She could see the back of Irvine's head which was enough to let her know what direction she was supposed to be going.

When she finally got there she said her hello's and took a seat beside Zell, who offered her a drink immediately.

She noticed he was wearing faded ripped jeans and a black and red t-shirt. His hair was spiked as per usual and he had grey skate shoes on.

Irvine had the same sort of faded jeans on, except not ripped and a grey button up shirt. He still had his black leather cowboy hat on and Rinoa couldn't help but smile at how weird he looked.

Squall was on the other side of Irvine and Rinoa couldn't help but notice how good he looked in casual clothes. He looked good in his usual clothes… black leather… _drool._

But he cleaned up nicely.

He had a pair of dark blue baggy jeans on, something Rinoa had doubted she'd ever see him wearing, with a pair of grey skate shoes. He had a black button up shirt with a white t-shirt underneath that had slightly longer sleeves than his button shirt.

His hair was messy and slightly damp but that was the style that suited him best. He'd look strange if he ever tried to look good. That was what made him so good looking. The fact that he didn't try to.

Rinoa caught Squall's eye and they exchanged glances. Rinoa knew Squall was a little drunk because he'd never stare at her like that if she was watching him. He raised his shot glass to her and she smiled a little, he then downed it and stood up from his stool.

"Seeing as the females are here." Squall slurred, he lost his balance for a second before regaining his composure and continuing, "We shall go and get ourselves a different seating… place."

It was then Rinoa noticed something. When she had first came to Garden she had thought everyone was nuts because of their adoration of Squall, but she was coming to be the same. When he'd just talked then, even though she was sober she couldn't help but listen. When she'd first came here she probably would've thought he was nothing more than a drunken loser and dismissed any comment that he may have made. But things were different now.

They walked towards a booth in the corner. Squall's choice of course. It was red leather cushioned with a wooden table in the middle.

Quistis slid in first, Selphie followed and then Irvine pushed past Zell, who was planning on sitting beside Selphie. Zell rolled his eyes and took his seat, followed by Rinoa, then Squall.

'_Ok, he avoids me, gets drunk and likes me again… weirdo.' _Rinoa giggled at her own thoughts but no one noticed.

"Garcon!" Irvine yelled.

A waitress came over and glared at Irvine, she must've got that a lot.

"Can you bring us a bottle of Jim Beam, filled to the brim with alcohol and six shot glasses." Irvine continued.

What followed could've quite possibly been one of the best nights of Rinoa's life.

But unfortunately you won't find out what the night was like until next time. Once again I apologise in advance should this take ages to get up but as I said I'm trying to fight the system on this one but all I'm managing to do is piss it off!

Hope you liked that chapter and I know there hasn't been any Rinoa Squall stuff in ages, but you can almost guarantee that there probably will be in the next chapter.


	11. I found the one my heart loves

**By myself but not Alone**

"**I found the one my heart loves"**

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8

Sweet Jesus that took ages! I know, it's terrible and I hate it but I'm really trying!

Caraway sat at his desk; his feet up on the table a coffee in one hand and a couple of sheets of paper in his other. He'd been up for hours looking over the various reports that SeeD's had produced from their missions since Deling's attack. He'd been going through them in alphabetical order, seeing as that's the way they were listed.

He was hoping that whoever had tried to kill Deling would've left a paper trail. Currently he was searching through one Selphie Tilmitt's file. He'd already searched Squall Leonhart's as extensively as he could manage; Squall hadn't mentioned anything to give him any reason to suspect him. Not that he didn't. if anyone would know Squall would be the person, but so far it was just a feeling, not enough to kill hundreds of people.

He nearly choked on his coffee as he read one particular paragraph in Selphie's report.

_We had successfully retrieved Quistis from any danger but there were no other survivors. Quistis was badly damaged but nothing that couldn't be repaired. As we ran towards the ship I noticed Miss Heartilly cowering over Zell Dincht as one of the Behemoth was about to strike. It was apparent that we wouldn't be able to save her but Commander Leonhart and I tried. _

_As we ran some sort of brilliant white light illuminated from Miss Heartilly and dropped the Commander and myself to the ground. As we stood we noticed that the entire Behemoth and their allies had been annihilated. _

_I know for a fact that Miss Heartilly is not powerful enough to emit such energy and feel that closer examination is required. _

Caraway rubbed the bottom of his chin, a habit that he did quite frequently when he was thinking. The cranks in his head started turning and he found himself wondering, wondering what power was held behind his daughter's innocent, fragile form.

**Elsewhere**

Rinoa held her hands behind her back, her vision was starting to become somewhat impaired and she'd basically lost all sense of direction.

She dived her head down and took a full shot glass on the table in her mouth; she lifted her head up and downed the foul tasting contents of the glass. The table erupted in applause and claps while Rinoa reeled in disgust.

No matter how much she consumed whenever it came to shots she always found herself having the urge to chuck it all back up. Nonetheless she endured, besides she didn't want to throw up all over the table in front of a bunch of people that she'd only drank with once before.

'_Yeah then I can always be remembered as the girl who can't handle her liquor.' _Rinoa thought as she took a large gulp of her bourbon and coke.

She had to have a chaser; she would quite literally throw up if she didn't.

Soon Selphie, who soon took a handless shot, she wiped her mouth and let out a loud exhale of breath. Rinoa watched as Selphie too grabbed for her drink and took a long swig.

This went on for quite some time. Rinoa could only manage two but Irvine would've had at least four.

"Selphie, howz about we's go and have a dance." Zell said, trying to sit up straight.

Selphie regally, well as regally as she could muster as this point, extended her hand and allowed Zell to lead her to the dance floor. Rinoa took a quick glance at Irvine to see what his reaction to this would be but saw nothing.

No jealousy or resentment, he just continued his conversation with Quistis. Rinoa supposed it was because of the close bond that they all shared, Irvine knew that Zell would never go there out of respect for Irvine and because Selphie was his friend.

'_Then again… accidents do happen…' _Rinoa thought as she remembered how she and Seifer shacked up together.

**An hour later**

Zell and Selphie had somehow managed to drag everyone onto the dance floor, including Squall… which was a miracle in itself.

They had divided into groups. Group one consisting of Selphie and Zell, who had remained partners throughout the entire dance, Group two, which included Rinoa and Irvine, Rinoa not wanting to look to desperate decided that dancing with Irvine would make her come off as if she didn't care who she danced with and finally Group three which was Squall and Quistis.

Rinoa found herself glancing over at Squall and Quistis every so often, after hearing about Quistis's former love interest in Squall she couldn't help but look every once in awhile to make sure that it was still all in good fun dancing.

In true Quistis style she danced with elegance and grace, not letting on for a second that she was the drunken mess that she had slowly become as the night went on. Compare her dancing to Selphie's and it was like a different species.

Selphie was basically holding herself up by Zell's collar and every so often he'd nearly fall over and they'd both become a hugging, laughing mess. They were actually quite comical to watch. Rinoa admired them, well admired the relationship that Irvine and Selphie had anyway.

The fact that Irvine trusted her so much that things such as this didn't faze him. Rinoa had been out with guys that should she even accept a dance with other men they'd pounce.

Irvine, surprisingly enough, was keeping his distance, well he had since about five minutes ago… then it seemed his thoughts were preoccupied on other things.

"Whats wrong?" Rinoa enquired.

"What?" Irvine yelled back, unable to hear her over the thumping music.

"I SAID, WHATS WRONG!" Rinoa yelled.

"Oh nothing…"

Rinoa wasn't sure she believed him and soon found that they're party of two had become a party of three. Quistis had joined them and Irvine didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

"Where's Squall?" Irvine shouted before Rinoa had a chance to.

Irvine had a kinda annoyed tinge in his voice; Rinoa wondered wether Selphie and Zell were starting to bother him.

"He went to go talk to that Marissa chick." Quistis replied.

Irvine looked shocked for a second, then almost angry and then finally his eyes settled on Rinoa, who had stopped dancing and was looking quite confused, and grinned reassuringly.

Rinoa smiled weakly back but couldn't get the feeling out of her that something was up. She walked towards where Selphie and Zell were dancing and grabbed Zell by the elbow, pulling him along.

"HEY!" She heard Selphie call out from behind her.

"I'll bring him right back I promise." Rinoa said quickly before continuing her walk towards the booth.

Rinoa knew first hand of Zell's reputation, he was said to be the biggest loud mouth in Garden. But even with that said, he was still a SeeD and that meant that he wasn't exactly going to be easy to crack.

Rinoa knew how to get him though; you had to catch him off guard, so he didn't think about it and make sure that it was only him around.

"Sorry about that Zell but I needed someone to come and talk to me." Rinoa said nonchalantly.

Zell shrugged his shoulders, apparently not really caring about being dragged off the dance floor.

"So hows your night been?" Rinoa asked, ordering another round of shots after she finished saying this.

"Alright, nothing special so far." As if on que Zell looked out on the dance floor and noticed one person missing. "Where's Squall gone?"

"I dunno, Quistis mentioned some girl called Mara or Marina or something." Rinoa replied, purposely screwing the name up.

"Marissa?"

"That's the one!" Rinoa said clicking her fingers.

"Is that slut here?" Zell exclaimed.

"Is she a slut?"

"Yeah. She always wants to get into Squall when he's pissed and one night he got a little too pissed, if ya know what I mean, and kinda just gave in. Ever since that night she hounded him. She doesn't go to Garden so it's not that big a deal but… I shouldn't have told you that!"

"Why? I don't mind, it's not like me and Squall are together or anything."

Rinoa said it as straight faced as she could but she couldn't help but be a little hurt that Squall would ditched everyone to go with that girl… ditched her to go with some slut!

It put a downer on her night and when Zell suggested they get back to dancing she said that she'd be fine on her own and that he should go. Reluctantly he went, not wanting to say anything more that might ruin everything again.

Rinoa sat at the table and took her shots, not wanting to let good alcohol go to waste. She spotted Squall across the room. He appeared to be angry and that gave Rinoa a little bit of hope. He was obviously yelling at the girl and she was obviously not giving up.

The girl, Marissa, had long blonde hair with black streaks though it. She wore a little black leather mini skirt and a crimson red sleeveless top. She had a pair of shin high boots on and her make up was flawless.

Rinoa had to admit; she was beautiful and wondered why Squall didn't just take the opportunity to be with someone like that.

It didn't take long for Rinoa to clue onto why, as Zell had said, she was a slut! It also didn't take much longer after that to realise what Squall was doing. He was trying to make her leave him alone… apparently she wasn't getting the picture.

'_Maybe I can help…'_

"Seriously Marissa, I don't want to go there with you. I'm sure that deep… deep down inside you're a very… nice person but I'm kinda here with someone else…"

Squall took a jerk back and caught himself on the wall, he started laughing and Marissa laughed with him. She took the opportunity to wrap her arms around Squall before he noticed and take in a little of his intoxicating scent.

It didn't take that long for him to notice and gentle remove her arm.

"Squally, you know how this is going to end. You're going to take me home and then…"

Once again, timing was perfect when Rinoa approached them. She leaned up against Squall, her back to Marissa, cutting off her sentence wonderfully and wrapped her slender arms around his waist.

His eyes widened and he looked as though he was going to dodge out like he did last time Rinoa got close to him but instead he lifted his hand up and started playing with her dark hair.

They heard a cough behind them and Squall groaned quietly.

Rinoa turned around and gave Marissa a look of surprise.

"I'm sorry was I interrupting something?" Rinoa asked innocently.

"Yes actually you were." Marissa replied, looking furious.

"My bad. Continue." Rinoa said casually.

She removed one of her arms and felt her body being swung to the side by one of Squall's powerful arms and now she was facing Marissa.

Needless to say Marissa left soon after that, leaving with one final, "He's not even worth it girl, don't say I didn't warn you."

Rinoa shifted back to her original position and looked up into Squall's blue-grey eyes. He smiled at her before leading her back to the booth that they had all shared.

Everyone was still dancing and Rinoa was thankful that they got a little bit more alone time before everyone decided to crash the moment.

Rinoa leaned her body up against Squall, relishing in the fact that he neither pushed her away nor turned rigid at her touch like she had seen him do to countless others. But Squall never did to her, he treated her different from a lot of people. She saw a side of him that he was reluctant to show many people and was more caring to her than anyone else… when they weren't fighting.

He began playing lightly with her hair, something she had quite gotten used to, she was beginning to think he was a hair freak but seeing the messy state of his she guessed not. Maybe he just liked hers.

"I've missed you." Rinoa stated quietly.

Squall didn't reply and Rinoa was wondering whether he was freaking out. He was still twisting her hair between his fingers and Rinoa could feel his head still resting on hers so she assumed that he hadn't heard her or something and was somewhat thankful that he didn't, fearful that something like that could alarm him.

"I think I missed you to." Squall replied.

Rinoa turned around, almost feeling insulted.

"Hold up, you think."

Squall grinned and Rinoa swooned at how adorable he looked when he did so.

"Gotta keep ya guessing!" he paused and looked over her shoulder; Rinoa thought he'd be staring at Quistis and the others but apparently not.

"We have an audience." Squall stated, completely changing the subject.

Rinoa went to turn around and look but Squall held her arm and shook his head.

"Geez Rinoa, way to make it obvious." Squall laughed.

Rinoa did the age old yawn and look over your shoulder routine. Squall rubbed his forehead and chuckled but refrained from saying anything.

Rinoa turned back and looked at him. The same look in her eyes that had freaked him out when she had tried to get into him. He had come to recognise it as something she would do when she was planning on doing something she wasn't supposed to. But today Squall had something on his side that he hadn't the first time he'd witnessed it first hand… alcohol.

"Well we should give them something to look at." Rinoa said before scooting closer to him.

She slowly inched her head closer and closer towards his. A smirk slowly settled on Squall's lips and he didn't recoil back as he thought he would if this happened. She placed her lips gently on his, reluctant to deepen the kiss in any way until he did. She knew what Squall was like… you had to crawl before you walked.

Then she felt Squall's hands settle on the bass of her back, crawling up and down her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt something she didn't think she ever would.

"Squall Leonhart!" Rinoa exclaimed with a smile on her face, "Was that your tongue!"

Yeah that's it. I wanted to end the chapter with some sort of sappy kiss thing and I got that but y'know there supposed to be drunk and sappy things don't happen between drunken people very often. I had to add that bit with Caraway at the start because his thing is supposed to be a major part of the story and I barely ever mention him so yeah.


	12. I am watching the rise and fall of my sa...

**By myself but not Alone**

**I am watching the rise and fall of my salvation **

Disclaimer: I don't own final fantasy 8

Hopefully I'll be doing this update thing quicker now.

Squall looked longingly at the bar as it began to close, he didn't want this night to end. He was having more fun than he cared to have in good while. He stood, about to inform the clan that it was go time but he felt his head spin and stumbled back a step to trip on the seat and fall on Rinoa.

He cracked up laughing and when the rest of his friends did so too it made his laughter more intense. He tried again, this time mastering the head spin that followed it and managed to just sway a little.

"Right kids, let's go!" he announced.

He walked ahead of the group, a smile set upon his face as he listened to them singing "everybody conga!" over and over again. Picturing in his head what they must've looked like but not actually thinking to look. He was on a mission anyway; he had to concentrate on both walking straight and finding the exit.

Masses of other people surrounded him, most heading to the exit themselves so it wasn't that much of a brain-buster.

All around him he could hear various chatter and was almost bowled over by a fellow party goer as he fell over.

Finally outside he lifted his head to the sky and took in his surroundings; he couldn't do this for long until he was encircled by his friends, all of which thought he was quite insane.

"The hell is wrong with you? We've got a mission!" Selphie commanded dramatically.

She grabbed Squall by the elbow and ran along with him towards the path that led to Balamb Garden.

"Where's everyone else going?" Rinoa enquired when she noticed everyone heading a different way.

"I dunno…" Quistis replied, looking over her shoulder as she did so, "DUMBASS!" She yelled, "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!"

Squall and Selphie turned back around and ran the other way, acting as if they hadn't done anything while ignoring Zell who lay on the ground in stitches at their stupidity.

"I can see why you like getting Squall drunk." Rinoa laughed as she watched the two teen's run ahead of them.

"I know, he's full on different! I love it!" Quistis replied.

Rinoa felt herself being picked up from behind and looked to see Zell. He twirled her around a bit before putting her back down, apparently just a pointless act on impulse… entertaining nonetheless.

Once outside Balamb town things changed dramatically. She'd soon lost sight of all the people that accompanied her, except her friends that had pulled her along and had also lost sight of Squall and Selphie.

"Where have those two gone this time!" Irvine said the first thing he'd uttered in awhile.

"This time?" Rinoa asked Zell quietly.

Zell shrugged his shoulders and stared at Irvine like he was a madman.

Whoever had said that the walk home was half the fun was only half right. It was enjoyable but Rinoa would've much preferred to party at the club for awhile longer.

All the way Rinoa Selphie and Quistis (once Selphie had come out from her cloak of darkness) had sung old school songs while the boys seemed to disappear.

Quistis explained later that they took great pleasure in trying to defeat monsters on the way and Rinoa did have a go but found that it was hard to hit a monster when you could see two of it.

Surprisingly the others didn't seem to suck quite as bad as Rinoa, bar the fact that they seemed to have trouble keeping on their feet.

Squall swung lazily at a bite bug that he'd been trying to hit for the past five minutes. Even if he had hit it he still fell to the ground and was assaulted by it while there.

He heard a loud crack above him and looked just in time to see the end of Quistis's whip swing back towards her. She winked at him and laughed, he grimaced, somewhat displeased that she had defeated the monster that he had vowed to vanquish.

Once back inside the Garden domain Squall shushed them all, apparently quite afraid of being snapped out by the principal.

Rinoa found this quite comical, the great Squall Leonhart afraid of the Principal like he was ten years old. She refrained from saying anything, seeing as he was carrying her at this point and she didn't want to be dropped.

They all parted ways, Zell Irvine Selphie and Quistis heading for the normal dormitories while Squall and Rinoa headed towards the VIP rooms. Squall being commander got a special room just like Rinoa.

Squall being the Casanova he was walked Rinoa to her door, admittedly it was mainly because his was further down but he didn't exactly tell her that.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Rinoa said as she opened her door.

She wanted to invite him in but knew that if Squall wanted that then he'd say something; he was usually pretty good like that.

"Guess so." Squall replied.

Rinoa went to kiss him on the cheek, not wanting to test fate but as she did Squall caught her lips in his own. Rinoa relished in the moment, not wanting it to end. She found herself wondering what tomorrow was going to be like, would it be the same… would Squall change back to normal…

'_Squall's not like that.' _Rinoa thought.

She chose to worry about that tomorrow and enjoy right now instead, that's how she'd always lived her life and she wasn't going to change now.

Squall broke away first, he ran his hand softly down the side of her face staring deeply into her eyes.

"Catch ya later." Squall whispered.

"Lataz." Rinoa said back.

She watched him walk away, not actually going back into her room until he was about to go into his own.

Once inside Rinoa leaned against the door and sighed. She had a goofy grin set upon her face and a glazed over look in her eyes.

She did what might be referred to as a "happy dance" and spun around until she fell over. She lay on the ground, staring up at the ceiling in pure ecstasy. That is until the ceiling started spinning.

'_Oh Hyne, I'm ganna be sick!' _Rinoa thought as she leapt up and ran towards her bathroom.

**The next morning… **

Rinoa cracked one eye open and glared at the light that shone through the cracks in her curtains. She glanced at the clock and read 9:59. She groaned and lay there for about another fifteen minutes before deciding to get out of bed.

She realised that she was still fully dressed and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked an absolute fright. The right side of her face was all smudge and both her eyes had black eyeliner trailing from under them. Her hair was poking out in various directions and one eye was slightly open more than the other.

She had a pounding headache and her stomach felt more seedy than she'd ever felt before in her life.

Rinoa took what she might consider the longest shower she'd ever taken and was reluctant to get out even after half an hour. She dressed, combed her hair and made her way towards the cafeteria. She doubted that she could eat anything but thought that a coffee sounded nice.

When she got down there she saw three very unenthusiastic looking friends of hers, all sipping at coffee.

"Morning." Rinoa mumbled as she approached them.

She noted the coffee pot beside them and helped herself to the glass.

Sitting at the table were Selphie, Quistis and Irvine.

"Where's everyone else?" Rinoa asked with what little energy she had.

Rinoa chose her words carefully there, she didn't want to come out and say "where's Squall" that was opening herself up for teasing.

"Zell and Squall got sent on a mission this morning, they'll be hating it!" Selphie laughed.

Somehow she still managed to retain some of her exuberance.

"Where?" Rinoa enquired.

"That's classified, we don't know." Irvine replied.

Rinoa nodded and chose not to think about the subject anymore, she was almost glad, it saved the uncomfortable greetings that she was expecting.

"I think they should be back in about a week, this is one of those lay low missions I reckon." Selphie giggled.

Apparently the rest of the crew found this tremendously hilarious as well. Rinoa was somewhat curious as to why this would be funny.

"What?" Rinoa enquired.

"Zell isn't too good at lay low missions. I don't know why they keep sending him on them." Quistis informed.

"I think they want to boost his ability at them." Irvine replied.

**Later on that day…**

**Rinoa's POV**

Thankfully I am feeling much better than this morning. Quistis told me to drink orange juice and other citrus things like mandarins. The vitamin C's supposed to be good for you. I dunno, I always just took a Panadol and slept but apparently that's where I go wrong.

"Laying down and doing nothing only increases your sickness, you need to be active." Or so Quistis says.

I personally would prefer to do nothing for the rest of my life and I have made a vow to never drink again but I say that every morning after.

I was kinda upset and somewhat relieved to hear that Squall had been sent out. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried as hell about him, especially after seeing Quistis's mission but at the same time… I don't have to deal with facing what happened. I will though but at least now we have a chance to get our heads straight.

Squall'll be fine! I've seen him fight and have never seen anything like it. It's like watching an artist create a masterpiece. He makes it seem effortless and I can't imagine that he'd have much trouble defeating anything that they throw at him.

This will give him heaps of time to work out exactly what he intends to say to me when he gets back as well because I cant imagine that he'd thought of it before.

Well I also learnt something new today that I didn't know before. All of my friends actually have jobs… I was shocked! I thought that they just loafed around all day waiting for a mission but apparently I was wrong!

According to Irvine, on various times in the week he is a trainer for future sniper users and also travelled to Dollet on occasion to pick up any goods that the Garden may have ordered. I was also told that Irvine usually took Zell with him on these missions and they made a weekend of it.

Quistis was a part time instructor, building herself up to the real thing I'm told but she's treated like a normal teacher anyway. As she put it "sometimes Squall comes in handy."

Selphie on the other hand was a different case completely; I'd already been with her on one of her jobs. She took junior cadets on field trips and training sessions. This was only when all the other teachers were unavailable or under staffed, which was apparently often. She also volunteered to help all the junior teachers teach the children basic weaponry. It was usually just to show the kids that even a pipsqueak can be great, to boost their morale.

Zell substituted for the martial arts professor two periods of the week when the teacher had to go abroad to Galbadia for lectures. I was told that apparently this was considered an undemanding job because all the martial arts cadets were extremely dedicated people.

And lastly Squall was commander of Balamb Garden… obviously. It sounds so magic when you say it like that doesn't it? Like I'm hooking up with the Commander of Balamb Garden Squall Leonhart! Excuse me. The handsome, enigmatic, fetching, fine, perfect Squall Leonhart… Commander of Balamb Garden... Sorry… I'll stop now.

Anyway.

Since this morning only Selphie and Quistis didn't have anything to do. They applied for the days off because they wanted to have a day to get over any hangovers that may occur. I was told that SeeD's don't generally have too many days off during the year, they're sposta be really dedicated to their work.

Me and the girls are on our way to the beach anyway, to soak up the sun and fall asleep on the sand. Naturally nobody's admitting that that will happen but I cant imagine we'll be the water too long before we loose what little energy we have and then we'll go to sunbathe and get horribly horribly burnt when we fall asleep.

We spot the beach and are thankful to be able to get out of the car, all this movement was just getting to me.

Quistis pulled up and we walked down towards the water. I lay my towel out flat on the sand while Selphie does the same and Quistis takes off her sandals.

Selphie is the first in the water, diving in and falling beneath it, not caring to check how cold it was.

I head towards the water first and sit down in the waves; I love the feeling of waves crashing against me, besides I can't imagine that I actually want to do a lot of swimming.

I turn to see what's taking Quistis so long. She's taking her hair out and she then she flings her hair out of her face. It reminds me of those cheesy hair commercials on TV.

She then starts walking towards the water, delicately and smoothly… retaining her cheesy hair ad credibility.

She stares at me and gives me a funny look. I turn back to the waves and chuckle to myself.

"What?" Quistis asks, placing one hand on her hip.

"Nothing." I reply.

I think I weirded her out. That would've weirded me out if someone did it to me. I can't help it; I'm not right in the head right now.

Quistis glides into the water, slowly and smoothly walking out into the ocean. Once it's up to her waist she dives under and comes back up.

I look towards the horizon and immediately block my mouth and hold my hands out in front of me as a particularly large wave came closing in.

Deciding that this is no longer a good idea I walk out towards where Selphie and Quistis are. Selphie's doing handstands underwater and Quistis is just swimming around. I imagine that usually more is happening, especially if the boys were here, but I don't really have enough energy to do much of anything either.

Selphie surfaced and looked at me and Quistis.

"I'm going back, I can't be bothered."

I'm horrified, that was one sentence that I never expected to hear from Selphie, apparently unfazed by this Quistis just replied.

"Yeah I tend to agree."

Mighty SeeD's crumble at nasty hangover!

I must admit though, I can't really be fucked either.

"Yeah aye."

I didn't really know how to end that but I figured they've got hangovers so there's not really a lot of action to write about.


End file.
